Saturday, June 11, 2022

Reflection on the Past Three Years: A Letter to a Friend

Sevierville, TN

Dear Mrs. _____ ______,

My heart is overfull right now, and I feel like the Lord has stamped your name onto my heart, so with your permission, I’m going to pour it out to you. I may appear to jump around, but I pledge my troth to tie the various themes together by the end.

There is a two-fold purpose in this letter: one is to encourage you, in the midst of the crises of our times; and the second, is to share with you some more personal developments in my own life, and by sharing, gain some deeper clarity in my own heart.

This is the turning, and I don’t know how many souls see, feel, or taste it. Perhaps it’s been on your mind like a wisp of fog hanging over a valley, and you can sense it, but as you focus, it fades away. It leaves only confusion in its wake, and you feel a sense of desolation as you see so many young souls turn away from so many simple truths of love and Lord.

How can the world continue as it is? This misery and sin, this Sodom and Gamorah of film, fashion, story, and universities, must end, at some point. They must realize that these things do not bring them happiness… mustn’t they? How long can a generation seek carnal pleasure, financial success, or the death of their own children?

But they have gone on so much longer than I ever thought they would. The Hundred Years of Fatima is ended, yet where is the reign of Mary’s Immaculate Heart? Did we misunderstand the timeline? What does her Reign look like? Must I change my expectations? When I bring these questions to the Lord, He tells me to wait. In fact, lately, He has ceased to speak to me at all. He only laughs, like there is a great surprise coming, and if I only knew it, I would die of joy, so He says nothing. “Wait and see,” He says, “Wait and see.”

I was just reading The Wind in the Willows, the chapter ‘Dulce Domum,’ which means ‘Sweet Home.’ It’s where Mole returns to his little hole in the ground, and reconnects with the anchor that is his domicile, and if you haven’t read it, I hope this inspires you to read the whole chapter. It is a glorious and unusual portrayal of what home is - even apart from family, parents, or a spouse, just ‘home’.

“But ere he closed his eyes he let them wander round his old room, mellow in the glow of the firelight that played or rested on familiar and friendly things which had long been unconsciously a part of him, and now smilingly received him back, without rancour…. He saw clearly how plain and simple  - how narrow, even - it all was; but clearly, too, how much it all meant to him, and the special value of some such anchorage in one’s existence. He did not at all want to abandon the new life and its splendid spaces, to turn his back on sun and air and all they offered him and creep home and stay there; the upper world was all too strong; it called to him still, even down there, and he knew he must return to the larger stage. But it was good to think he had this to come back to, this place which was all his own, these things which were so glad to see him again and could always be counted on again for the same simple welcome.”

Isn’t that precious? It speaks to me so much right now, because - and here comes a personal detail - I am once again homeless. I laugh as I picture your face, on reading that.

The Flight House Road Trip last year was a short and miraculous trip that gave me the courage and moral resolve to face this new and incredible stage of my life’s journey. Along with my parents and four youngest siblings, we are living in AirBnB’s, with no permanent home. Oh, we’re insane! We’re fools!

The Lord is massively shifting our family’s lives. We left Illinois, which, speaking of Sodom and Gamorah… it really is amazing how much your perspective shifts when you live in a part of the country that does not operate out of fear. Anyway, I’ll start at the beginning, and tell you how I got to where I am now. I promise, it’s a story well worth the telling.

Last year, when I went on the Road Trip, by myself, I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I’d been struggling with health issues for the past year, trying to work full time, build a business with Tim, and serve others. It was actually going very well. I remember you and I talked on the phone. <3 I was realistic about the slow growth of business success, and the sacrifices/front-loading that needed to go into our efforts, so I was absolutely floored by how well we initially progressed in our business. Opportunity after opportunity opened to us, growth and excitement from other creators really excited us, and because of our success, I was convinced that this was where the Lord was calling us.

Apparently, Tim did not feel thus. The week before my birthday, at the end of April, he flew to visit friends in California. While he was gone, I held a beautiful 3-day retreat for women - taking advantage of his absent male presence, heehee - and made some great connections with young women. They all loved it, and encouraged me to have more meetings and events like this. Tim flew home at 11pm on my birthday. We said hello, went to bed, and the next day, my world fell apart.

I had known, for some time, that I was carrying the bulk of the business on my shoulders, a fact I did not at all mind. I had more training as a coach, more entrepreneurial classes under my belt, and more passion for the coaching side of things… and I had encouraged Tim to discern how he wanted to be involved - even if he wanted to be involved. And he had said, again and again, that he would ‘think about it.’ I loved having him on the team, and he was contributing well at the beginning, but of course, did not want him to commit to something his heart wasn’t in, and the past few of months of inactivity from him seemed to show that that was the case.

He wrote me a letter Saturday morning, the morning after my birthday, and gave it to me at noon. It was not a resignation from the business - that was only about 2 sentences inside the letter. It was a letter rejecting me.

He said I was the reason he could not move on in life. That I was smothering him, and making him fail. That I was incapable of finishing projects, and he demanded that I to move out of his apartment by the end of the month.

I do not wish to dwell overmuch on the letter. There was more, but you get the picture.

I was shattered. I’ve never had a boy-friend; never been dumped; now I had. And for me, I think, this was so much worse.

You know how inseparable we were - how much we loved each other. Apparently, resentment had been growing in him, unknownst to me, for years, and I was blind to it. I didn’t realize it at the time, though I see it now, that the Lord was crumbling my idols. Ever since I was a little child, I idolized my little brother. He could do no wrong. His moods were always justified, and my fault. If he felt smothered, I put pressure on myself to give him more space. If he felt resentment, then it was my fault for not choosing just the right words when I spoke to him. And if he did not approve of a life choice I made, I put a lot of weight on that opinion.

The Lord wanted me to be free from such associations. Love is a beautiful thing, but how easy it is to pervert it! It must be free, freely given and freely received. And it must always be allowed to put God and individual callings first. Tim and I were not each other’s callings, but we were putting our lives on hold, trying to find some sense of false fulfillment in the other. I in caring for him, and he in trying to ride my successes.

It’s easy for me, when I share this story, to start trying to justify what I say, because on some level, I’m still in shock, and still want to claim responsibility for what happened.

I had only just started hearing the voice of the Lord - literally a month before this happened, and what incredible grace He gave me in that, for as I read each line of the letter, I heard His voice, more clearly than I ever had before, saying, “That’s a lie, that’s a lie, that’s a lie.” Without resentment, I accepted the truth of the Lord’s words. These were lies, and not reality. Some of the items may have valid points, but I was not to try and defend or justify myself. Only to submit to the situation, to how the Lord wanted to work within it, and not to try to understand how my brother had gotten to such a point.

Over time, the Lord still reveals more to me about my past, my childhood, and my adult life, negative examples of how my brother treated me, to air them out and help me release them. My parents have been able to help me see patterns, actions, and warning signs they had been noticing for years, but which I had been too blind to see. However, the grace of it all is that I have not lost sight or appreciation for any of the beautiful and loving interactions we had as well. The evil NEVER negates the good. In fact, the good shines all the brighter, sometimes, because the Lord is so very present in it. The ugliness of Hell cannot and never does dim the brilliance of Heaven.

Needless to say, I moved out in a month, bought a car, and, packing all my worldly belongings into it, I set off on a road trip. My brother Dennis and his new bride graciously let me store my things in their extra bedroom, and then I started driving across the US to see where I wanted to live.

I had always wanted to get out of Illinois, but had no idea where I wanted to go.

At about the same time, my parents and I started praying, asking the Lord where we should - separately - move. And, separately, all three of us heard ‘Tennessee.’

So I drove to Tennessee.

Turns out, Tennessee wasn’t quite ready for me, but, oh it was beautiful! I saw it, I sent back pictures to my family, and they started dreaming about leaving Illinois as soon as possible.

I was homeless two months, driving from Walmart parking lots (where I slept a few times), to campsites, to friend’s houses, to historical and geographical landmarks.

I had good family friends, for whom I had babysat in Illinois, who had moved to the western tip of South Carolina, the City of Greenville, and they encouraged me to come visit, and stay as long as I wanted. They also had connections with a Catholic Retreat Center in the Blue Ridge Mountains, only an hour north of them, and put me in touch with the people there.

I asked the lady who ran the retreat center if they might need some help, and how long they might need it, and she said, “We could use you indefinitely.” How good God is!

So I moved to the most beautiful place I have ever lived. In exchange for room and board, I lived in the mountains and beside a lake for 10 months, acting as hostess and custodian for the buildings there, meeting holy and inspiring people, and going for days at a time without interacting with another human being.

What a peaceful place for healing, writing, and renewal. The Lord arranged it all, cradling me like an infant in his arms, and I couldn’t have planned it better. My relationship with Him blossomed. Because it was just Him and me, and what better situation is there? There was even a tiny chapel on campus with the Blessed Sacrament reposed. And only an hour away, lived the beautiful Catholic family who loved me like an aunt to their children, and every two months, I drove to Illinois see my family and friends.

I have to say, which I almost forgot to add, that the Lord worked many miracles during those ten months. I was very poor, and wondered, sometimes, if I would have the food, medicine, or gas I needed, when I needed it. I drove on fumes, sometimes. But if I was healthy enough, He got me to Mass. If I was feeling bad from my chronic illnesses (migraines, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and some other issues), and needed to eat more of my food than usual, fearing that I would deplete my resources before my next paycheck, He promised to provide me exactly what I needed. And He always delivered. Sometimes through new friends who invited me to dinner, sometimes through leftovers from a retreat on campus, and sometimes through other random and unexpected ways. It got to a point where it was a sin for me to doubt Him, because the proofs of His goodness were too abundant to deny!

As I was living this new and radical life of trust in South Carolina, my family was living it in Illinois. They were bending all their energies to move out of their rental home in St. Charles, and move to a rental home in Eastern Tennessee, at the end of their lease on March 31st, 2022.

March 31st came. They moved out. And they came to stay for a month at the Retreat Center. :D This was good, because by this point, I had scrapped the very old car I had bought, reduced my work hours (which also reduced my pay), and was stuck in bed with health issues half the week at a time. It was becoming impossible even to make my own food, let alone do work or grocery shopping, and I hadn’t been to Mass in a month.

This had been a gradual descent over the winter, and I kept expecting to get better, but something felt different this time. It wasn’t just stemming from physical problems anymore. For example, sometimes I would experience a new and unusual symptom, and the next day, I would discover that a friend was going through a hard time in some other way, but that symptom was a usual pain for them, and it unexpectedly hadn’t affected them last night, while I was in pain.

After the third time this happened, I decided to have a talk with the Lord about it. After all, I try not to over-spiritualize things, so I often wait a little while before assuming it’s a spiritual attack. I don’t want to give the enemy more credit that he deserves (which is none ;).

The Lord had already promised my mom that one day, she would experience complete and utter healing. (She too suffers from many chronic issues, and has my whole life). We are all watching that prophecy unfold right now before our very eyes as, during this time of homelessness, problem after problem is clearing for her. Praise the Lord!

She asked Him if I, too, would experience complete healing, and though He had answered many questions for her during that prayer session, His response to this was, “She needs to ask me herself.” I had been avoiding the question, because I knew He would speak the truth, but I doubted if I had the graces I needed to hear it. So I was waiting for Him to help me out, and receiving a command from my mom to ask it allowed the graces of obedience to come into play. So, I asked Him.

“Will you heal me?”

That question annoyed Him, and I immediately sensed that I hadn’t been specific enough. “I am always healing you!” He said, frustrated that I might doubt it.

I laughed. “All right, yes, I believe you. Thank you. Let me ask again. These intense, crippling pain attacks that I am experiencing… will there ever be a time in my life when they go away for good?”

I can’t convey the answer He gave. I worded it so that His only recourse was a negative, yet the sensation that accompanied that word, when He gave it, was a full and positive affirmative, that flooded my soul with peace, love, and particular grace. And a sensation, as well, that I had full freedom in this choice. That if I accepted this incredible gift He wanted to give me, He would pour it out like wine over my soul, and it would be a light and easy burden - it would be my path to salvation.

Oh, my friend, it has been so light! Easy - almost never. And sometimes I forget that it is a grace. Sometimes the ease of suffering gets drawn away, and I reside in a darkness of emotional and mental misery… but even that is easier than I ever could have imagined. Because He still is with me, and Mary is with me, and the saints are a chorus of voices reminding me that there is no greater joy on earth than to suffer on the cross.

I suffered for years, ever since I was 15, and I have never known such peace amid my pain. He let me suffer so many years without understanding the redemption that is in everything He asks of us… but now, for whatever reason, our of the graciousness of His love, He has granted me a penetration into the mystery of suffering, and how sweet it is! I understand now why one of the saints, I can’t remember who, declared: If we understood the value of suffering, we would wish to prolong our journey on earth, so we can suffer more.

I’m not sure I wish for more suffering - I haven’t that grace yet - but I understand how such a desire, paired with knowledge, can exist. And I believe that suffering really is that redemptive.

I want to get back to my narrative, but this is taking me back to the beginning of my letter, because we must suffer from sin. It is the only way to attain Heaven. And yet, the cross has made our suffering sweet. It’s a paradox. A glorious one! Even as souls persist in sin, even as they perpetuate their own misery, they live ever in the opportunity to return to the Lord, and the suffering they experienced before conversion will become a redemptive light in the cleansing of their soul. For they were never truly satisfied, but starving, they ate from garbage cans, and how much more will their affinity for The Eucharist expand when they remember the filth of their empty lives?

I can’t believe how much I’ve written you - and all in one sitting, too, isn’t that impressive? But I’m so grateful for your patience as I unfold my narrative. I feel the Holy Spirit pressing me to tell all, so I will finish.

My family arrived in South Carolina at the beginning of April, and we all took a month-long vacation. I thought I would keep working at Heart Ridge Retreat Center while they visited, but the Lord allowed my pain to increase to such a pitch that I couldn’t even walk from one building to another. I had told my parents we would need to discuss and discern next steps with my life. Their dream of a homestead in Tennessee had been building as my dream too for the past half year, but they were planning to rent for a year before purchasing land, so I was planning to live in SC until they had land; now, my health proved that plan impossible.

We had a discussion among the three of us, and we decided to merge my fate with theirs. They had no home, no definite path, and yet my father bravely chose to include one more dependent under his non-existent roof.

My brother Andrew, age 23, was graduating from Wyoming Catholic College midway through May, and it had been my parent’s plan to stay at Heart Ridge until the end of April, then do an extended road trip across the western US, being on the road for a month. My mom has been sensing the coming societal collapse, and wanted the kids to experience the country now, while we were between crises that affected inter-state travel. It was nice to forget about Covid from South Carolina to Colorado. Colorado was the first state on our trip that had signs about it. In Illinois people still wear, and sometimes even require, masks. Not to mention all the vaccine billboards on the highways. Fear is a contagious thing.

Turns out, Andrew had been elected by his class to give the commencement speech, and it was so good! What a blessing to be present, and hear him give it. So many tears! He’s five years younger than me, and I’m so proud of him!

We drove ‘home’ by way of South Dakota (so gorgeous!), Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and ended in Knoxville, TN. In Wisconsin, we stopped at the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, where we ran into the associate priest from our brand new parish here in Knoxville (the very first person my parents met when they came to scout out this area of the country), and the family who hosted them for dinner when they scouted the area. We had no idea they would be there, and it was such a proof from the Lord of his unique care of us that, once again, we haven’t been able to doubt His plans for us, no matter how despondent we get.

We are currently staying in an AirBnB outside Knoxville, and my parents are looking at rentals. But I will say this - I believe we will have a homestead in August. The Lord has promised it to me and my mom, and although we cannot fathom how He plans to fulfill such a promise, I can only say that I must continue to trust Him.

And to declare it to you is to render Him more glory when it comes to pass. And it will come to pass, even if it looks different than what we expect. But I will not lower my expectations, because I have learned, over the past year, that He loves to surpass them! And when I lower, I miss what He chooses to give me.

Home has become the Lord. It has become what He chooses to give me.

He is restoring the idea of ‘home.’

As a society, not only have we lost sight of the value of children; not only have we lost any appreciation for the life-long commitment of marriage; not only have parents flung their children off as if they were an anchor preventing them from pursuing the precious retirement plans of their youth… in addition to all this - as a by-product of flipping the world on its ear - society has lost the very simple and precious idea of ‘home.’

Home is the place we are held - home is, foundationally, a slice of Heaven, here on earth. It is Dolce Domum, the Sweet Home.

Maybe this is why I’ve written all this to you, but to me, your family stands as a shining symbol of Dolce Domum. Your Family Paper is only one example, but it demonstrates what home is. The _____ Scoop is not written as an online blog for strangers, posted on Instagram, or read aloud on Youtube; in fact, it would lose its very value if you did that. What I’m about to say may sound negative - because the world views this word and concept negatively - but I mean it as a true compliment: your scoop is too simple for that. It is a simple compilation of simple stories about simple activities; it is a ledger of a self-contained kingdom. Because your home itself is a kingdom. And those to whom you send the stories enjoy a peep not into ‘domestic bliss’, exactly, but into a world apart. It is not an example to others of how to live, but a sample of a home lived well. It stands as ‘The Times’ for the kingdom of your Home.

In so many ways, our family really struggled to have that ‘home’ feel. Others came to our house and felt so loved and received, and we were blown away by the graces they seemed to enjoy just by walking through our doors, but for us, that feeling was utterly elusive. We felt tossed about, ungrounded, never really planted on firm rock. As renters, as homeowners experiencing foreclosure, as homebuyers who never payed off the full mortgage… my parents felt left behind by the world.

Now, ironically, we’ve left the world behind.

One of my brother’s lines in his commencement speech mentioned the call of WCC students to enter into the world and carry their education with them. He said that most are called to live in the world, and as a joke, he added that not all people and able to depart from the world and live on a secluded homestead. How my mom and I laughed with each other when he said that! He didn’t even know our full dream yet! And he’s right. Such a life is a gift.

Yet, we do not wish to renounce the world, but only the ways of it. We wish to provide a space for those who have to live in it to find rejuvenation. Nowhere, in the world, is there a place that feels like ‘home’ to the tossed about, lonely souls of those who are seeking to follow Christ. We wish to provide that.

We will be a secret place, not advertised on social media or youtube. The Lord will send us those who need this place He will give us. We will be a little slice of Heaven, here on earth.

My friend, when I lived at Heart Ridge, I kept telling people that I had found a home. And every time I said those words, the Lord rebuked me. He said, “Your temporary home.” I didn’t know what that meant, other than to imagine that He was reserving the word ‘home’ for when I found my future husband. In some ways, that’s true. But in a broader sense, Home is not a person, it is a reality.

And for the first in my life, as I move from place to place, living on 4 outfits out of a shared suitcase with my sisters, I feel at Home. He’s no longer correcting me. I am home.

I said at the outset that this is the turning, and I meant the turning of the ages. Revelation has begun, and after it unfolds, we will understand it as we never have before.

But not even Catholics believe it.

They say things like, “We have seen bad times before, and the Church always pulls through.” “We can never know the day or hour.”

Conveniently, they have forgotten to keep their lanterns wicked. They have forgotten that moral degradation, on all levels, is more telling than external tribulations. They have neglected the call to keep a watchful eye to the Horizon, and that many small revelations have taken place over the millenia. Their age is not exempt. We have not been forgotten.

Many will perish in this time, but do not despair. You are responsible for no one’s soul but your own, and those of your small children. And even toward them, you owe only guidance, and an example of personal virtue, to teach them to steward their own souls.

The world cannot continue thus, and it cannot save itself. Individually, saints have learned through the ages that their vices are not enough for them, and yet the world thinks it can redeem its own shortcomings. Without the intervention of the Lord, virtue will not return to the land. Without His aid, we swing on the pendulum of lust and prudishness, murder and tolerance, change and conservation.

Mary’s Immaculate Heart is already reigning, and how she desires to enter our hearts. She is preparing us for the final confrontation, pruning the errors of our souls to strengthen us against the winter that cannot be turned back. Never lower your expectations. Expect to hear the voice of the Lord. Ask Him what promises He has in store for you.

I say again, He tells me to wait. There is a great surprise coming, and if I only knew it, I would die of joy. “Wait and see,” He says, “Wait and see.”

Thank you for listening. Thank you for receiving.

In Christ, through Mama Mary,

Elizabeth

P.S. My friend, (In spite of being almost 30, and an adult when I first met you, I always think of you as Mrs. ______), I have to add another proof of how much Jesus loves me. When I began this letter, I really wanted to mail it to you physically, but we don’t have a printer, and getting out of the house, with my health, has been a strain. I knew I had too much to write to have the strength to write it out physically, so I decided to just accept that I would need to email it to you. Then, I paused writing and came out of my room for dinner, and what did my dad have sitting on the kitchen table? A brand new printer. God is good, all the time!

P.P.S. If you would like to write back, you can reach me at…

April 28, 2022

Notes for message sent out to family and friends at beginning of Sabbatical, day before my birthday

Hey. I’m reaching out to let you know that I am taking a 3 month sabbatical from work, communication, and obligations, in order to turn my focus to intentionally healing, and resting in the Lord.

• intense, incapacitating pain attacks

• rebuilding damage on nerves

• brief windows in the day when I feel well enough to both hold a phone and speak at the same time

• the process of the Lord calling me into his arms, as I enter the cross. To be on the cross means the same as to be in His arms, for we are never on the cross alone. He has chosen to be there, and I am His beloved, joining Him there - never replacing, never withdrawing, saying again and again, Yes, yes I will do as you ask. Yes, I will join you.

• It must be a sabbatical, not a retreat - when it comes from a place of “I can’t do this,” we are doubting Him. But when it comes from a place of responding to His blatant request, then it comes from Him. And to say yes is not a defeat, it is a joy. But I don’t want to imply that this is easy. It is simple to say yes, but it requires great trust. Trust that He is providing, trust that He is healing, and trust that this experience is only temporary, and that my return to the world will be as beautiful and healing as this time of retreat is proving to be.

• 3 months of no phone use: no texting, no email, no phone calls. If you would like to send me an encouraging message, either written or audio, please feel free! I would love that! But do not except me to respond.

• please keep me in your prayers during this time, and feel free to send me any prayer requests. This, and any experience of healing, is not only redemptive for me, but for the entire world. Healing in one person is exponential: each step we take deeper into the heart of Christ and His will for us multiplies and cascades until it suffuses the whole world.

April 22, 2022

Further reflections on Genre

Sci-Fi is about the hypothetical human condition - how do we behave, what changes, when we learn something new about the natural world?

Fantasy is about the superhuman condition - tapping into knowledge beyond the natural world, and asking how we respond to a larger reality.

- Horror is a sub-genre

Drama is about the human condition - how do we behave in natural, human conditions, both happy and sad?

Romance is about the male/female relationship - how do we respond to the other sex?

April 10, 2022

On how the sick person struggles with transition, and how to interact with a sick person, to assist them in their illness, and display the Love of Christ…

The sick person struggles with transition. For example, after being away from home all day, coming home may induce an energy crash. The person seemed just fine out and about, but on coming home, seems unable to speak coherently, speak at all, or make decisions. She may collapse into a chair, or wander around trying to be helpful, but instead getting in the way.

This is most detrimental when the sick person is a mother, or another person with heavy responsibilities in the household. Other people, including the father, may rely on mom for help in these moments of transition, and feel abandoned or manipulated when she is unable to give coherent or sensible responses.

For a teenager, the stress may involve them getting yelled at when they immediately sit down on entering the house to catch their breath. Their parent may ask impatiently, “What are you doing just sitting around?”

The teenager is unable to answer this question. To them, it is the natural thing to do, and they are obeying the impulses of their body, but now they doubt themselves, seeing that this is not normal for everyone else. Doubts arise in their mind: “Why am I so weak? I’m just lazy. I’m not paying enough attention.” They and their parents fail to realize that they are recouperating in this moment.

It is important to have rules and expectations in place to best assist this person in those moments of transition.

HOW TO SET RULES AND EXPECTATIONS

Have a conversation about the sick person’s basic needs. Write them down, and order by priority.

• “I need to have a water bottle beside me at all times, because I never know when I’m going to desperately need a drink of water.”

• “I need my homeopathic remedy every three hours. If I forget to take it, I will scream because of the leg cramps that I get.”

• “I can’t stand after driving, because of my car sickness. After arriving home, I need to sit at the kitchen table and eat some chips with guacamole to calm my stomach.”

• “It stresses me out when anyone asks me to make decisions within 20 minutes of arriving home.”

• “My body goes into spasms when someone plays the piano as soon as we get in the door. I need the house to be in a calm state before someone starts playing music.”

After looking over this list, set rules for yourself and them:

• Rule 1: On entering the house, Dad (healthy person) escorts mom (sick person) to couch, any time we are gone for more than 4 hours, regardless of how she feels in the moment.

• Rule 2: Dad refills her water bottle, and brings her a bowl of guacamole and a bag of chips. (He does not ask her if she needs these things - he just brings them. If she doesn’t eat them, that’s ok.)

• Rule 3: He asks if she needs her remedy, and brings it if necessary.

• Rule 4: No one plays piano, or is allowed to ask mom if they can play piano, until an hour after she arrives home.

• Rule 5: Only dad (or oldest child home) is allowed to ask mom questions, if they themselves are unable to handle the situation without her input.

This can seem like overkill. After all, there may be food in the car still which needs to be brought in and put away before it spoils. Why not just bring in the groceries first, or answer a couple texts, before taking these steps? But for the sick person, such a pause can seem interminable. If the sick person is ignored during the rush to put away food, their human dignity may be being violated.  This is because they are incapable of meeting their own basic needs. Because they are incapable of caring for themselves in this moment, they feel alone and abandoned, just like a three year old who wants to untie his muddy shoes, or take off his winter coat, but doesn’t know how.

The good news is that implementing these rules is actually quick and simple. Once the rules are established, they don’t take more than ten minutes. And you are serving them with great dignity. The adult sick person knows not to cry because of their muddy boots, but on the inside, you bring them the same relief and happiness of the small child who is finally allowed to run free through the house.

Finally, if you’re worried about groceries spoiling in a hot car, plan ahead: pack a cooler and icepacks before going to the store, even if it’s just five minutes away. This allows you to put the sick person first, no matter what kind of emergencies might come up.

It is important to remember that the person is the most important aspect of any situation.

We know we should be considerate to others - this is something we all grew up knowing - but consideration for a sick person might look different than the standards that have been trained into us.

There are no set standards for the individual care of a sick person. Each person has different needs: one person may need salt-heavy foods, and one may need no-salt foods, but in spite of the differences in care, consideration is still possible in both circumstances.

Consideration means open communication, and willingness to change how you do something, when you learn that your first way of doing it was not helpful. It means a loving and adaptable attitude, open to listening and implementing.

You may have resistance to some of the ‘needs’ the sick person tells you they have.

There are two reasons for this:

1. They are blind to their own needs, and have misinterpreted the desires and emergencies that they are feeling.

2. You don’t understand the needs, and your misconception/misunderstanding is getting in the way of accepting the care they need.

I will address number 2 first:

You may have very strong preconceived ideas of what is or is not healthy, and this is often based on what is best for you, or what is culturally taught and accepted. For example, salt is bad, gluten is bad, and all fat is bad; soy is healthy, sugar replacements are healthy, and ‘diet’ is healthy.

But the bottom line is that, while there are some general standards of ‘healthy,’ every person is different, and sick people’s needs, for them, can be the difference between function and disfunction.

Mar 15, 2022

Resting while Jesus Gardens My Heart…

Jesus told me, and I am writing to remind myself, that a new season is opening in my heart, and I need to rest in it. The action phase will come later. But now, the ground has been furrowed, and the blossom is resting, before it takes the effort to bloom. The caterpillar has spun the cocoon, and now is resting, before breaking out of the silk.

It’s ok if I just eat and sleep right now, because the dreams and the graces are blossoming through that work.

My soul is in the midst of a battle ground. It is ground zero, the calm in the midst of the storm. When my husband arrives, he will have fought the attackers to break through the line of battle, and reach the garden wall. At the wall, he will encounter my protector, my Brother, Christ the Lord. Mary will come and prepare me. She will dress me for my suitor, and when I conform my will to Christ, He will allow my suitor to enter. There, God the Father awaits to hand His daughter as bride to His son.

These are the visuals.

I’m also dreaming a lot about owning a Lodge where I heal people on the Gaps and Weston A. Price diets. I will put out a continental breakfast for the mornings, serve brunch from 11-2, and dinner from 5-7. I will leave out baked goods, soup, and salad the rest of the time, plus snacks, in crockpots and salad bar.

This allows guests to eat when they need to, nourish their bodies, and sleep and rest when their body asks. Each guest will have a private bathroom with a bathtub, and room to do an enema on the floor. We will include blankets, towels, and plastic sheets for enema floor sets. We will sell enema kits on the property, plus bath detoxes.

We will serve detox teas, juices, and broths.

We will hold classes where we teach how to make the healthy foods.

We will have exercise routines: slow stretching, walking the grounds, horseback riding, bike riding.

We will have a chapel on the property, with beautiful artwork, candles, pews, and floor mats for kneeling.

We will have a massage/chiropractic room for a masseuse and chiropractor to come.

February 22, 2022

A Message to a Friend

I know you’ll understand this. Probably better than I do - I always find I understand other people’s health journeys better than my own… oh well, we live and learn.

I realized belatedly that part of my reluctance with borrowing the car to come visit was actually health related, but because I’ve been wanting to hang out, I wasn’t letting myself notice that. Lately, going anywhere takes a day to recover from, and getting together mid week means losing at least a day and a half of work. But I wasn’t noticing, feeling like I ‘should’ be able to function better. My mom reminded me the other day, when I was frustrated with some health setbacks, that this is February, and it’s usual to have lower energy in February. So, living and learning. Sorry, I feel like I’ve been all over the map with just a simple get together! Honestly, the Lord has been stretching me a lot lately when it comes to accepting a quieter, slower life - even quieter and slower than I could have ever imagined. And yet, deeply peaceful and healing.

Ok, well, I’ve sent you a novel. This is what happens when I text at 5am, lol. Hopefully, this insomnia will pass, and I’ll fall asleep soon. 😅

Let me know if a phone call would work for you. That I can do at this time. 😉

February 1, 2022

Magic in fantasy stories - What makes a good fantasy story?

Elements: Hints at truth deeper than apparent reality

Apparent reality is what we see around us everyday: through our five senses, our mind, and our heart, we recognize how the world appears, how society is structured, and how people interact in relationships - all as they appear from a physical and sensual reality.

Genres:

Reality Novels:

Stories about apparent reality portray reality according to one’s senses, emotions, and experiences.

Fables:

Presents things as other than how they appear.

Sci-Fi:

Imagines a different world

Fantasy:

Speaks in stream-of-consciousness, tapping into the subconscious, to portray true but unseen realities.

---

Books that deal with these physical and sensual realities are dramas, mysteries, animal stories, and historical fiction. Fable is more similar to reality stories than sci-fi or fantasy, because fable portrays everything as it truly is, only with the replacement of animals instead of humans.

Deeper truth penetrates to the things we do not see: emotions, choices, and spiritual realities. This includes things like love, free will, and angels. Fantasy stories use various combinations of analogy, imagination, metaphor, and a free-flow of the subconscious to connect with realities deeper than that which we see around us everyday.

No fantasy story is ever a direct metaphor - if it were, it would cease to be fantasy. Direct metaphors limit the fullness of portraying the unknown, because it reduces the imagination back to what can be understood. Fantasy does not aim to show what can be understood, but metaphor does. The purpose of metaphor is to lower the defenses of the reader in regards to truth by telling a story that is apparently about something else, but at the last minute, unveiling the apparent layer to reveal the original, hidden truth. Fantasy, however, is not a layer concealing something beneath - it is a story in it’s own right. Only by accepting the story as it is, and letting it sink deep into your imagination, will you perceive the deeper realities it is portraying.

Magical creatures

No magical creature is a direct metaphor for a deeper reality, although some will symbolize ideas: for example, an imp is impish. Dragons represent evil and temptation (see article on page 130), tree and water nymphs represent nature, and lions represent kingship.

January 22, 2022

Conversation between a Writer and the Lord

Lord, you cannot want me. I am nothing. I have been ill, and ill-equipped. I allow people to give me too many excuses. How can you want me? Who am I, Oh Lord? What are you calling me to do?

• Love me.

That’s all well and good, but what do I DO? How does this Love overflow to others?

• Creative Writing

Really?

• Of course. Tell the stories.

Who’s stories?

• No ones. The ones in your head.

Why?

• Do not ask why. Ask where.

Where, Lord?

• In books. On Creative Anthology. I will tell you more.

And what of coaching?

• What of it?

Why did you train me to be a life coach? Am I supposed to be working with women?

• Ask me not why. Nor whether you are to be working with women.

Why not? How can I know how to serve you?

• Serve me with your writing.

But my desire for women?! To help them?

• What of it?

Lord, it’s not about that. I could easily put it on hold if not for the money. What of the money?

• How much do you need?

$3,000 dollars a month.

• Very well.

That answer does not bring me peace.

• Why not?

Because I don’t see your how! And what if I am making up this conversation? What if you will not provide? Lord, I am scared.

• Scared is good. Do you trust me?

I am mad at you.

• Do you trust me?

My heart hurts!

• Do you trust me?

Dangit, yes I do! How can I not?

• Publish this.

This conversation? Why?

• Do not ask why. Ask where.

Where then?

• Creative Anthology

I have peace, my Lord. Thank you.

July 21, 2021

Creating according to the Natural World, and God’s plan for creation.

We are called to switch our thinking from ‘how can we dissect this, and create something new?’ to ‘what is the original design, and how was it fashioned to operate?’

We must move from wanting to always change, manipulate, and control, to respect, understanding, and design.

There is nothing wrong with changing the make-up of a thing in order to use it to better purpose, or even a different purpose, but we must first understand the original purpose itself.

If a certain chemical comes from a pepper, we must understand the whole pepper, and respect how each piece adds to the perfect design in which God created it. Then, we can ask, “How am I called, as a good gardener or steward of the land, to cultivate this product, and help it to be the best it can be?”

In the end, the results may look very much the same. But by beginning first from a place of respect, our negative impact upon the earth will be greatly lessened.

July 18, 2021

Heart Ridge is not my home. But it IS my current sphere of activity.

Right now, I am like Ruth, working in the fields, gathering the sheaves that are dropped by the workers. But one day, I will marry Boaz and be mistress of all.

I am called to learn here, and grow. I am called to discover what it means to “gather sheaves,” not in an impoverished way, but in a way of learning how the Lord provides, the kindness of others, and the growth of my own heart.

I will be stretched here.

I already have been.

The beauty of this place captivates me, and it’s potential excites me… Meanwhile, what am I called to do?

July 15, 2021

What’s your route this time?

It’s more up in the air than before. I headed out from Springfield to Shawnee National Forest (southern tip of Illinois. I could see Kentucky across the Ohio River from my campsite.) on the 9th of July, and expected to stay 1 day, but stayed 4. Then I drove to Chattanooga Tennessee for one overnight stop, and then to my friends’ house in South Carolina. Now I’m headed to a Catholic retreat center an hour and a half away, in the Blue Ridge Mountains, to stay for an indeterminate amount of time, and help them out. I’m also working to get an event set up in Nashville Tennessee, and potentially Louisiana. So we’ll see where God takes me in August. 🥰

July 12, 2021

St. Joseph, I am your biggest fan!

I am listening to a talk, I forget by what speaker, about St. Theresa of Avila, and he is proclaiming your manliness, your willingness to adventure, your sturdiness! And I am literally cheering aloud. No one can acclaim you loud enough to please me. He referenced a painting about you leading the Holy Family into Egypt, and I cannot but wonder whether it is my painting - the one I love. For you are manly in this story. A leader, a sturdy protector - an adventurer going out into the unknown. How I love you!

Oh silent protector. Walk beside me everywhere I go. I will cling to your hand, a willing little child, following wherever you lead.

Father, my heart is so full of love and joy. I do not want to cease speaking to you. I do not want to go to sleep. You have sat down beside my bed, allowing me to prattle on a little longer about my love for you, rather than admonishing me to close my eyes. Where are we going next? Oh, papa, do more work in my soul. It is so gentle, so kind, so loving. How nurturing a presence you are!

I cannot imagine you in any perplexity or difficulty! How did you not know you must take Mary into your home? You know everything, oh good father, you must have known that.

You are so far above me that I am like a little child looking upon her wise father, thinking that he could not - oh no, never he - have ever been a child like me!

The speaker continues on, speaking of Theresa, but I am only half-listening. My mind has switched track to you. Please guide me as you guided her. She began this devotion to you. Allow me to carry on this tradition, please. Oh please, allow me to spread devotion to you. May our relationship extend to others. May I teach others how to speak to you, how to listen to you. This is not a mere year of St. Joseph, is it? Please, allow it to be a lifetime! How easy to come to Jesus and Mary, when we come to them through you! You wish everything for their best. You guard them unlike any other protector. You guide them into the very best ports. You turn even a stable into a palace.

Show me, please, how to love them as you loved them. Thank you for including me into their inner circle, for I know that you have veto power to send me away. But no. You choose to let me be a fourth wheel in your perfect family structure. I, who am so much more a sinner than yourself, you have allowed me to be with Mary and Jesus, those sinless two, who put even you to shame. Oh papa, thank you! In their presence, I receive such love to give to others. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Your home is here, in Carl [my van]. I have come to be your servant. If I must give my life and blood for you, I will give it willingly. Lead me to the persons and places you wish me to bring you. Thank you. Amen.

Please, stay with me until I fall asleep. I must clean my car, take and apply my medicine, and do my story. But I do not want you to go. Stay, until I fall asleep. You sit in a corner of my nursery, in a rocking chair made by your hands, and quietly read your book. I understand from this action that I am free to do whatever I wish, but you will be watching over me. Thank you for your paternal protection. Amen.

July 10, 2021

There is an intense thunderstorm raging outside. I cannot sleep through the noise, and I am worried, because an electronic transfer that I put through 2 days ago has yet to appear in my account. My cell signal is spotty.

And yet…

I am physically safe. St. Joseph has assured me that I am operating on a budget - when I get money, it’s time to move on, and when I don’t, I stay. I do not need to worry about having too little. I am concerned about my next stop: I will probably drive through rain tomorrow, if I receive the funds for gas, and the camping spot is a little difficult to reach. Will it be too dangerous, with all the rain? And if I cannot move on, will I spend another night in rain? I don’t know how well I will sleep, or if I will have the battery life to last that long, without running my car. But maybe, I just need to read during the day, and pray at night, if battery power runs low.

The final thing is that I left the tent uncovered last night, with a few items inside. A water bottle - no problem there. A bag of food - soggy, but should be mostly ok. And my journal + Count of Monte Cristo. They will probably be unusable now, which makes me sad. I love my journal from Emily, and I hope it’s ok… but I don’t see how.

Morning after…

The sun sure does shine brighter in the morning, and that’s not just a figure of speech!

My journal is salvageable. My tent is drying. The transfer hasn’t gone through, and now it’s the weekend, so guess I’m hanging here for a few days. All God’s timing. I feel safe, secure, and even though I had a scare with the brake light on the dashboard, nothing feels wrong with the brakes, so I’m just going to drive over to Elizabethtown to purchase some brake fluid this evening, and see if that solves the problem. I currently have $19.36 in my account. Enough to buy fluid, ice bag for the cooler, and $10 worth of gas. Oh yeah. Living free, and on a budget!

This is what happens when launching a full time business from nothing, but it’s NOT gonna happen much longer! I’m signing 6 students for my Catholic Creators Course this month. With the first release discount, that is $4200 income for this month. All students are paying in full - some are on payment plans.

I am speaking into this with trust, with thanksgiving, and with joy. I know God has given me this knowledge and talent to share with others. So I trust Him to send me the clients who need this. Thank you Lord Jesus that I am forming creative leaders for your kingdom!

Ooh… random thought. God gave me male friends to teach me how to coach occasional male students. With all the conversations Christian and Isaac and I have, plus my experiences (good and growth) with my brothers.

July 5, 2021

Notes for My First Talk

Who Am I and Why Am I Talking to You Today?

Build my business

Surrender

Inspire

I can inspire you, not by sharing all the bad things in my own life, but rather, but encouraging you to do what I have done. Rather than focusing and narrowing in on all the ways God hasn’t shown up for you the way you want him to, instead, praise Him for his blessings.

Write 10 gratitudes in the morning.

Notice 3 things at night that He showed up for you during the day:

1. I wonder what wonders God has in store for my life?

2. I wonder how God worked that out?

3. Look for God, Open yourself to gratitude, and to Trust in God

   Trusting in God

Place to place, person to person

• It’s not about the numbers, its about the quality of the interaction

Men and Women Profit differently

Men: Push forward to create. “By the sweat of their brow” they earn their daily bread, and the daily bread of their family

Women: Surrender themselves to the providing of others, in particular God, from whom they receive everything.

Quote: From “For Women Only” about St. Paul’s evaluation of men loving and women surrendering.

Women do not naturally surrender: it is a trait we develop, and when we engage in surrender, we are far more fulfilled than any success we gain on our own

If you find yourself pushing, you are banging your head against a brick wall. God is your lover, and he wants to give you everything you need.

Men do not naturally work: it is a trait you develop, and when you work, you gain far more satisfaction through that activity than if someone just gave you something.

Now, quick caveat: these are the deep needs of men and women, but we are all human. Men still desire and delight in gifts, and women still desire and delight in work. But those activities should be supplementary to our deep, made-for activities.

May 8, 2021

Walking with Jesus. Where is Jesus walking with you in your life right now? How are you finding him in your creativity? Creativity is, at its root, an ability to look beyond the formats we have put in place for how this world ought to function. Creativity is opening ourselves the muse - to the spirit – and for Catholics, that Spirit is Holy. That Spirit is Love that pours outward from the Father and the Son. We find our center, our ability to walk the creative way, there in the divine light of the Holy Spirit. Is he walking with you today? Are you letting him infuse the creativity that you are seeking to accomplish in your projects, your work, and your downtime? Are you letting him open your eyes to a world larger and Holier than your own? Come Holy Spirit!

February 9, 2021

Personal Information for GIVEN Interview and Followup

First Name: Elizabeth

Last Name: Russell

City, State: College/University: Magdalen College of the Liberal Arts Degree: Liberal Arts, with a Concentration in Philosophy

The GIVEN Institute Alumnae Interview

Job Title: Writer and Entrepreneur

Organization: The Flight House

State of Life: Single

Headshot or similar type of photo (please attach a high-resolution photo)

Please share a little about yourself - feel free to include a fun fact!

My name is Elizabeth Russell. I am a published author, woman’s life coach, and entrepreneur. I am in-waiting for my future husband, devoting myself in the meantime to living for Christ, under His beautiful spousal protection. I live with my brother in the suburbs of Chicago, IL, where I coach women who are pursuing creative careers, play CatholicSports, host a Woman’s Bible Study, build a community and course to support Catholic creators, and intentionally build beautiful and enriching friendships. Quarantine can’t keep us down!

I am the oldest child of ten: 2 sisters and 6 brothers, one of whom is our angel in Heaven. My parents have been happily married for 29 years. My mom stayed home and homeschooled all of us, classically and with a lot of literature, and my dad taught us what it meant to run your own business, provide for a family, and still find time to lead Rosary every night, and watch Star Wars together.

Fun Fact: I published my first book of poetry this past year, in December, called A Song of 2020. It’s a celebratory song to God of thanksgiving for the growth and joy I found in 2020.

Describe your professional work. How were you led to this? What are you passionate about?

I have undertaken several endeavors, all of which flow naturally in and out of each other. I consider myself, first and foremost, an artist. And in the word’s of JPII, “as Genesis has it, all men and women are entrusted with the task of crafting their own life: in a certain sense, they are to make of it a work of art, a masterpiece.” I am fundamentally an artist over my own life, and I bring this into every sphere. My particular gift of artistry is words, in which I rejoice! I have two fantasy novels, Halfbreeds and Trinian, and many more in the works, plus my aforementioned poetry book, A Song of 2020. All are available on Amazon.

I am also a creative career coach for women. I help artistic and out-of-the-box women through the process of discerning their dreams, applying their skills, and embracing their God-given talents. I challenge each woman to see beyond the economy and structures of this world to live in God’s economy, and to ask where, specifically, He is asking her to live in the world, but not of it.

I am a podcaster. Along with my friend Ina Castillo, who lives in Denver, I co-host the podcast Womanhood Redeemed. Ina and I discuss topics around what it means to be a woman, to suffer, to live joy, to deal with imposter syndrome, etc. Our tagline is “living the practical aspects of authentic femininity in our everyday lives.”

I am an entrepreneur. Along with my brother, I am taking my love of nurturing artists into building a course to direct those who have a desire to follow their dreams, but don’t know where to begin. This course inspires, and teaches the tools for creating consistently, promoting, and profiting, all from the ‘pursuit of beauty’ perspective, which is uniquely Catholic.

Finally, I am the Conference Coordinator for the organization Freedom After the Trauma Conference. This conference is the fulfillment of a dream for Courtney Leong, my dear friend and a spiritual mother to me, who strongly desires to transform the world’s narrative around trauma. So many people in our world believe the the traumatized are broken beyond repair, but we not only refuse to believe that, we have seen evidence that it is not true! In Christ, healing is not only possible, it’s transformative. We are building a conference that will teach the world how to show up for the broken, bring them healing and understanding, and help them venture forth into the light. Right now, we are in the stage of talking to investors so we can further our reach, and you can check out our work at Freedomafterthetrauma.com, where you can find our current content around transforming the world’s narrative.

What are the personal strengths that you’ve been given and how do you utilize them?

My strengths, as I have been told by others, are warmth of presence, a good ear to listen to the heart of others, dedication to my passion, and my words, especially in writing.

What women inspire you, and why?

Courtney Leong is at the top of this list, for sure! She has come out of such darkness, and has, in turn, led me out of mine. This probably belongs in the mentor section, since she is my personal strategist, but she also greatly inspires me! January Donovan is another mentor who inspires me. I have spent the last year going through her Art of Being a Woman Masterclass, and to say that it changed my life feels like an understatement. I learned truths about living I never even imagined before, and the tools to make those truths a reality in my own life.

Both these women, who are so radically working to transform culture right now, make me think of the female saints of old: St. Catherine of Siena, Hildegard of Bingen, Mother Teresa, Elizabeth: the cousin of Mary, and Mary herself. These shining examples of womanhood inspire me to be a saint, and to continually give Christ my own Fiat.

Finally, all the women I coach are huge inspirations to me. The openness of their hearts, their willingness to dedicate their lives and dreams to Christ, and their ease of coachability inspire me so much! It’s beautiful to watch them bloom in our sessions, and outside them!

Are there friends and mentors that you depend upon? How do they support you?

January and Courtney, as I mentioned above, for sure! Also, Amanda Ditchik, who has patiently walked with me as my health coach on a journey of physical healing this year; and Emily Blasdell, another alum from GIVEN, who has been my business planner since February of 2020. My business had not yet begun at the time. I had a vague idea that I wanted to coach women, but didn’t know yet where that would take me. That was when we met. In spite of never meeting in person (which is actually true of all the people I’ve mentioned so far, except January, who I met once while visiting Ave Maria, FL), she has been a bulwark as I continually plan and replan my life mission.

My long-time friends, Carolyn and Sophia, although we mostly only connect over the phone, have me as a jewel in their heavenly crowns. Both provide such needed and unique support, and I value their friendships beyond words, for it is grounded in Christ, and the desire to be saints.

Finally, I have recently been forming beautiful friendships with Catholic women in my area. This gift of in-person friendship is new to me since college, and fills me with joy for the present and hope for the future. Doing things in community, going on errands for one another, watching movies in the evening, and playing loads of card games, has been a blessing beyond my wildest dreams!

What is the best advice/encouragement you’ve received about vocational discernment?

“Don’t be afraid of what you want.” I was told this by both my strategist and spiritual director in the same day, so I took it strongly to heart! Our desires are guideposts to our dreams. Let’s say you want children, but are afraid you’re called to be a religious sister: don’t be afraid of that dream. Step into it. Imagine yourself as a mother, and then ask Christ what He is seeing. It’s a dialogue of the imagination; an immersive conversation, wherein Christ will lead you gently to His plan for you, and reveal how He is satisfying all of your desires.

Prayer is essential for everyone, but especially for women who are active in the life and mission of the Church. Do you have any favorite devotions or prayers?

St. Joseph has been my go-to this year. My brother and I named our home and business after him: The Flight House, after the Flight Into Egypt. I often pray to him, asking him to give me the tools for building my business, surrendering my life, and transitioning in this time of building a new life. My favorite book is The Soul of the Apostolate, by Dom Baptiste Chautard, and my favorite form of prayer is envisioning my soul as a garden, and conversing with Christ in that inner world, usually while washing dishes at the end of the night.

Do you have a favorite inspirational quote?

It changes everyday, but right now, it’s the one I quoted above by JPII, or really anything from his Letter to Artists: “as Genesis has it, all men and women are entrusted with the task of crafting their own life: in a certain sense, they are to make of it a work of art, a masterpiece.”

What were your key takeaways from the 2016 GIVEN Forum?

Inspiration. I had no idea so many amazing women could exist in the world at one time, let alone be changing the world like they were. They opened my eyes to what it means to be both compassionate and inflexible.

I also connected far more deeply with the belief that Christ was calling me to a vocation that was unique. I had yet to learn how to hear His voice, but I felt His call strongly while in adoration that weekend.

What was your GIVEN action plan? Describe its mission, audience, and impact.

My GIVEN action plan came out of a desire to build intentional female community, and teach all women that they are beautiful, unique, unrepeatable: that they are the Beloved of Christ. I laid out a plan for forming women in discipleship, living out inner beauty, and entrusting everything to God.

I began that mission, after 2016, by hosting young women’s tea meet-ups at my apartment. However, my health deteriorated and I moved back with my parents. For 3 years, I worked part-time from home, and seldom saw others. It wasn’t until February of 2020 that I regained my purpose and joy, and reconnected with my GIVEN action plan, though that was unconscious. Without realizing it, I began to live my action plan.

I was coaching women on self-worth, and taking the Art of the Being a Woman Masterclass, wherein I was learning how to value myself and others, and heal from wounds that had been distancing me from Christ. All this to say that, when I uncovered my original action plan from 2016, while moving boxes as I once again moved out of my parent’s home, I laughed and cried. I had not realized how completely Christ had satisfied my desire to connect with women and teach them His love.

The impact has been enormous, and I am so grateful to GIVEN for helping me shape those desires in my heart all that time ago. It confirms for me that this is not a passing desire in my heart. I am on fire for women’s transformation! It is my mission to help women heal and use their talents to the glory of God the father!

February 2, 2021

Hope in a World Torn Apart

“As far as building creative careers, those are over. The market is crashing all around, and careers and options are in the can.”

This is what one lady told me when I told her what I do. She went on to say that “You can’t coach someone to succeed in a game when the rules are changing constantly.” And then she laid out a game plan for how I could shift my entire career path toward teaching kids just coming out of Highschool on how to get successful, traditional, safe jobs.

It’s tempting to agree with her. A creative career is a gamble, and maybe it’s not worth it. She concluded with these words, “You need to be more self-disciplined and less hopeful if you want stuff to work.”

I am a creative career coach, and I coach women through the process of building a lucrative creative career. This job goes hand-in-hand with the entrepreneurial position I have undertaken - alongside my brother - of building a company dedicated to supporting Catholic artists.

My heart hurt after she said these things, but only for a moment. I turned to prayer, and immediately found solace in my heavenly Father, as He assured me, “I have not led you this far down this path for nothing. Believe in me.”

I do not believe creative careers are over. If we have been created with the drive to imitate our creator, and create in his image, as He did for us, then why would He snatch that opportunity away? Despite what many seem to believe, ours is not a vindictive God. He plants desires in our hearts because He plans to bring them to fruition. The Lord has called those of us who are artists to be creative. To ignore that call would be to stifle and kill something Godlike, and Godgiven, within us.

The Despair

Fundamentally, I am a voice against all those who would say we can no longer create; who would hold up any excuse to get out of rebuilding our world. And believe me, we can find many excuses: the world’s economy, depravity, or enjoyment in the ugly and deformed; the belief in man’s inability to rise above his circumstances: “we must play the hand we’re dealt, and hope for heaven;” or even the belief that SOME people are creative enough to make it, but not me: I just dabble: I could never be a second Michelangelo.

With attitudes like that, who needs the devil to destroy art? He’s off somewhere else, toppling the statues and art of the old world; burning Notre Dame and looting churches, while we bury ourselves in a world that sees no hope for rebuilding culture.

The Hope

But is hope merely dead weight?

In JPII’s letter to artists, he lays out the philosophy that we are not only created to ‘dominate the earth’, but that artists have a unique connection to God that allows them to communicate him to the world.

“Through his “artistic creativity” man appears more than ever “in the image of God”, and he accomplishes this task above all in shaping the wondrous “material” of his own humanity and then exercising creative dominion over the universe which surrounds him.... as Cardinal Nicholas of Cusa made clear: “Creative art, which it is the soul's good fortune to entertain, is not to be identified with that essential art which is God himself, but is only a communication of it and a share in it”. That is why artists, the more conscious they are of their “gift”, are led all the more to see themselves and the whole of creation with eyes able to contemplate and give thanks, and to raise to God a hymn of praise. This is the only way for them to come to a full understanding of themselves, their vocation and their mission.”

“You need to be more self-disciplined and less hopeful if you want stuff to work.” The same lady quoted above said this to me as well.

God bless her, she fears for mine, and every artists’, future. She has seen me start projects, and then drop them, as I built myself up in discipline, health, and direction, and now she fears, not only that I will not follow through with my call from the Lord, but that the Lord is not calling me at all. Not to this task. This task, she says, ‘is over’.

If the task of rebuilding culture, of teaching others how to create and share that work with others, of teaching them how to do this full-time, so that we can move away both from the ‘starving artists’ mentality, and the mentality of ‘dabbling’ in an etsy shop... if this task is dead, then I must believe that God has given up on us all.

Truly, right before World War II, in Warsaw Poland, a little priest began a monthly paper entitled Knight of the Immaculate. He circulated it on a shoe-string budget, and brought many hearts and minds into the faith, and into a sincere devotion to Mary.

And in another part of Poland, at the same time, a seminarian was doing impromptu theatre with his friends in outdoor corners of the country.

Who are we to say that God only called Maximilian and Karol Wojtyla? Who are we to tell Him that He can’t call us, too? We can stand at the brink of the end and say, “What use is it to call me to build culture? Don’t you see it crumbling? Come on God, stop being so dang hopeful all the time. People are going around wearing masks and shutting down churches, for crying out loud! They’re looting churches and killing priests. God, why don’t you bother more with the big stuff? Stop calling me to the impossible.”

In the beautiful words of JPII, “The artist has a special relationship to beauty. In a very true sense it can be said that beauty is the vocation bestowed on him by the Creator in the gift of “artistic talent”. And, certainly, this too is a talent which ought to be made to bear fruit, in keeping with the sense of the Gospel parable of the talents.”

Is it impossible to constantly see beauty? Is it impossible to rejoice in the talent we have received? If beauty invigorates you, if creating excites you, where are you hiding? Come out, come out to the light, and share your beauty with the world.

Hope is not dead. Hope is the resurrection and the life, which has already conquered death, and led us all into the light of freedom. We are free to create, free to worship, and free to immerse ourselves in the glory of God.

What if I’m Not An Artist?

In the words, again, of JPII, “Not all are called to be artists in the specific sense of the term. Yet, as Genesis has it, all men and women are entrusted with the task of crafting their own life: in a certain sense, they are to make of it a work of art, a masterpiece.”

We are not called to be like those of this world. If the world is cowering in darkness, we are called to smile in the light. If the world is afraid of dying, we are called to die as martyrs. And if the world is destroying art, we are called to create, promote, and support it.

The Flight House, the business my brother and I are launching, is more than a place for artists: it is an opportunity for artists, sponsors, art enthusiasts, business entrepreneurs, and everyday Catholics to connect and support each other. It’s a place to immerse ourselves in beautiful entertainment that does not serve an agenda, but rejoices in the creation and journey of life that we, as Catholics - created in the Image and Likeness of God - have undertaken.

When the World is Against Us

In this past year, God has shown me, time and again, how He operates OUTSIDE the world’s laws. When I began working for Freedom After the Trauma Conference in August of 2020, it was nothing more than an idea in my friend’s head of changing the world’s narrative on trauma, and spreading the belief that ANYONE can heal and live a full life, no matter their trauma. Now, it is an organization, which held an online conference in October, now has a board of directors, and is quickly shaping up to be the most controversial and transformative organization on the planet. All this, because my friend believed what was spoken by God into her heart: that she did not experience trauma for nothing; that she is His beloved, and is called to heal the world.

I saw this with Woman School, which two years ago, was also only an idea centered around human formation, but is now a fast-growing organization of women who are transforming the lives of millions of women across the planet, helping them design beautiful marriages, families, careers, and freindships.

These organizations were successful for one reason, and one reason alone: they believed. And with this belief came the organization, built up with collaboration, skill building, routine, and dreaming.

We only stop creating when we believe it’s impossible. But nothing is impossible with God. If we believe it’s impossible, then we have lost the gift of the Resurrection. My friend was right: we need discipline. Now, more than ever, we must practice the consistent discipline that meets with results. But it is the consistency of belief, practice, creation, and promotion, not the consistency of trying to play the world’s games, and getting dragged into despair. We’re not playing the world’s games: we are embracing that God and His methods are greater. God uses the world’s means, but is not confined to them. If the world changes the game on us, so be it: we’ll be adaptable, indefatigable, and joyful! Because creating in the image of God is a joyful activity!

So, to conclude, I will not be redirecting my career path. To do so is to ignore the call He has placed on my heart, and to doubt the skills He has given me. He has made me a writer, an entrepreneur, a career coach, and only HIS voice will I allow to speak over me! Will you join me? Will you help Christ rebuild a beautiful, life-giving culture?

January 26, 2021

The Flight House

Mission Statement:

Channeling an explosion of Catholic creativity, The Flight House is spearheading the forefront of training and promoting artists for the New Renaissance.

Structure:

Currently 3 Catholic Creators (eventually will max out at 25) who oversee basic operations of the business, training new creators through the course we are building, engaging with students, and building one another up.

• Elizabeth Russell: Secretary and Co-Founder - Responsible for keeping meeting minutes and itineraries, drafting course, and corresponding with potential students

• Timothy Russell: Treasurer and Co-Founder - Responsible for book-keeping, fine-tuning the course, and keeping track of paperwork.

• Ina Castillo: Content Creator and Marketer - Responsible for instagram marketing, drafting course, and corresponding with potential students

Course:

A three month course to teach creators how to create consistently, promote their work, and profit.

What need do we see?

The world is currently inundated with agenda’d art - art that seeks to convey a message, more than to stand on it’s own two feet. And there are two types of that agenda: Cultural and Christian.

The current culture seeks to teach; and not only to teach, but to indoctrinate the masses into the beliefs that it upholds as most sacred. These three they hold most sacred: the glorification of the individual, subjective sexual morality, and the scientific debunking of religion.

The creation of fine art, film, books, and music all embrace these three sacred social tenants, and sacrifice good story-telling to the justification of those beliefs.

This is a position for which we will not longer stand!

The Christian culture falls into this trap as well, by veering too far to the other extreme. Recognizing the immoral message of the culture, but failing to recognize that art ought not to teach, the Christian world has embraced creation as a medium for spreading its own beliefs. Even though I often happen to agree with those beliefs, I still have difficulty appreciating a work of art that is subjected to an agenda. These people have good hearts and, I have seen with my own eyes, have changed lives. For this, I am grateful to them.

However, for art to exist in this medium is only a slightly better alternative than the cultural agenda. It is not allowing art to live and breath in its own greatest sphere.

Art as it should be

Art is difficult. I will start by admitting this aloud, and then proceed by explaining myself. Art is difficult.

It is difficult in many ways:

• to explain

• to create

• to understand

• to know completely

and this is as it should be. Walter Blythe, in the seventh novel of the Anne of Green Gables series, declares it best: “That is one reason why I like writing poetry - you can say so many things in it that are true in poetry but wouldn’t be true in prose.”

I have felt this with poetry, with story, with music - these things strike us on a deeper level, and if we can sum them up in one unpoetical phrase, then the artist has failed in their creation. If we can subject Pride and Prejudice to the callous summary that it is a book about a man and a woman who hate each other to begin with, but love each other by the end, then why did Austen write Pride and Prejudice in the first place? She could have saved herself so much trouble.

If we can say of Michaelangelo’s David that it is a representation of a God-fearing young man, then why look at it? He could have been spending his time reading 2nd Samuel.

I cannot define art, but I will venture to go this far: it is a seeking after indefinable truths through the lens of beauty, or the lack thereof.

That is a paltry attempt.

I just looked up Oxford Languages definition, and I think it’s pretty good: “Art: 1.

the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.”

I like their inclusion of the words ‘imagination,’ ‘beauty,’ and ‘emotional power.’

The term art may be able to be defined (and like I said, I really like Oxford’s), but the application of it is impossible. Because it is relegated to the imagination, it expands beyond creed, doctrine, or social expectation. To confine it to such ideas is to stifle it. It is imagination that shows us that life is so much broader and richer than the boxes into which we put ourselves, and art applies the imagination, taking that boundlessness and confining, capturing it, using structure, medium, and technique. (Incidentally, this is why I enjoy Catholicism. It, too, though on a separate level, constantly challenges our man-made boxes and structures, all while adhering to basic, unflinching principles that keep us ever striding down the untraveled road.)

The Flight House and Art

My brother and I believe, and Ina agrees with us, that as Catholics, we are all called to be saints, and CAN be saints.

Living our best lives, and living them for Christ, is our own personal path to sanctity. When we are doing that, and intentionally building our own moral imaginations, then I believe in cutting loose with creativity. We do not need to make our art mold itself into a specific idea, and fear leading others down the path of perdition.

The Lord of the Rings is a very good example. Written by a devoutly Catholic man, can we say it has ever converted anyone to Catholicism? Perhaps, one in a million, and I’d love to meet that person, but in general, it is no Mere Christianity. And yet, the world it creates paints a picture of a world that captivates, entrants, awakens imagination, and immerses the reader in beauty. This world is Tolkien’s masterpiece.

Now, I will tell you about a sad thing I once came across. Apparently, there is a society in and around Chicago that dresses in Elf (and other LotR costumes) and meets regularly to discuss Tolkien’s world. So far, not a problem. But you see, they have taken the world structure of Middle Earth and made it a religion for themselves. They have woodland dances, moonlit seances, etc. They genuinely believe that Tolkien took an real ancient religion and coded it into his books. It is this religion that they follow.

Could we, from this last example, build an argument around Tolkien’s work and argue that he should never have written it, because it has led to this sin?

Most definitely. We could definitely build that argument. But I don’t think we should.

It’s not that the good outweighs the bad - that’s a whole other argument that I’m not going to get into right now. But rather, that Tolkien did nothing wrong in letting his imagination run free. We was creating.

If we say Tolkien should not have created because it led to sin, then we must say God should never have created, because it led to sin.

No more putting “shoulds” and barriers on Catholic and Christian creation. By creating within the freedoms of who we are striving to be, we can create great work, even if our own lives are not perfect, our skill is not perfect, and our creation is not perfect. Even as we accept that we are limited, we embrace that imagination is not. We are not responsible, in imaginative creation, to convert others. We are only responsible for creating.

In Summary

The Flight House is spearheading this movement away from agenda’d art, and into a New Renaissance of beauty, as an overflow of the moral imagination. I see this overflow happening all around me. In grassroots, devout Catholic circles, Tolkien, Chesterton, George MacDonald, C. S. Lewis, T. S. Eliot, and many more, have fertilized a soil of young people who are yearning for beauty. Not finding it in the culture around them, their own minds have become the gardens in which they are building a new world of richness and depth.

I want to help cultivate that garden. I want to help bring beauty to life: Let’s help these artists’ work reach their audiences, inspire the world, and transform culture!

October 29, 2020

In prayer, I heard the Lord promise to send me “A Man After My Own Heart.” [Meaning HIS heart]

Blessed is she who believed that what was spoken to her by the Lord would be fulfilled...

Psalm Searching:

So, I have delved into the Psalms, to see what they have to say about the nature of “A Man After My Own Heart.”

• He rests in the Lord

• He recognizes the hand of the Lord in all things

• His defense is in the Lord

• He believes the Lord’s promises, even against evidence to the contrary

• He respects what is sacred to and consecrated to the Lord

• He hates evil

• He is beloved by the Lord

• He is justified in the Lord

• He cultivates the depths of his heart

• He proclaims the glory of God

• He turns to the Lord in times of distress

• He converses with the Lord

• He holds the Lord accountable to His promises

• He knows, understands, and accepts God’s love for him

• He attributes all victories to the Lord

• He dances with abandon before the Lord

• He rests in the Lord like a child in it’s mother’s arms

• He keeps violence for the Lord to deliver

• He is patient

• He loves the Lord

• He is guided by the Lord

• He accepts the Lord’s chastisement

• He is redeemed in the Lord

• He sings to the Lord

• He is preserved by the Lord

• God is his rock and refuge

• He accepts that he is transitory, and God is eternal

• He praises the Lord in times of tribulation

• He is wise, and heeds the love of the Lord

• To be near God is his Happiness

• He accepts that all that is good in himself was created for God’s sake

• He grapples with large questions

• His trust is in the Lord

• He worships nothing false

• He knows the Lord hears and answers his prayers

• He obeys God

• All his hope is in the Lord

• He walks with ever-growing strength

• He cries aloud in anguish of heart

• He is saved

• He prays in the morning

• He is pure of heart

• He learns to sit still

• He is dust

• He is not repayed according to his sins

• He faces death all day long for the Lord

• He imagines

• He never neglects the Lord’s commands

• He is upright

• He is the Lord’s servant

• He does everything the Lord wants him to do

October 29, 2020

How can I serve you?

A close friend recently told me, “I love how your apartment has a revolving doors policy.”

So do I! But it’s not the physical doors themselves that I want to stay open - it’s the internal attitude of INVITATION.

This has been the theme on my heart recently.

Invitation has to do with opening your heart and home to others, to really inviting them to enter and authentically encounter one another. To be nourished in a space of intentional friendship, accountability, and growth.

And yet, invitation scares me. Invitation is a deeply personal revealing of our inner selves. In the past, when someone didn’t accept an invitation, I felt personally rejected. So to protect myself, I started expecting people to say “no” to coming over. In fact, I started wanting them to say no.

In my pride, which was masking my insecurity, I believed that their ‘no’ meant that I had done my part in inviting them, but had been let off the hook of actually having to interact any further. It meant I did not have to reveal the inner parts of myself.

How uninviting! I yearned for deep connection, but didn’t know how to make it.

I desired intentional friendship, but didn’t know how to give it.

Now, I’m learning. Now, I have chosen to walk intentionally into friendships. To learn from others when they pursue deep connection.