January 22, 2022

A Woman’s Plea for A Righteous Man

Lord, my own Father,

I come before you today as an ambassador. As your little daughter, I come with the right to implore you to give me an answer to bring back to your servant.

Who is he that you have refused to grant him the return on the bill he has so painstakingly filled for you? What crime has he committed that you refuse to satisfy the desires of his heart?

• What do you ask of me?

I ask for the opportunity to present his case to you.

• Proceed.

Father Almighty, I, your beloved daughter Elizabeth, upon whom you shower every grace and blessings, present to you this day your servant, ____, and his many deeds, so that you can repay him according to his deserts.

The Bill of Actions (please respond to each item)

1. Your servant has devoted his entire life to your cause.

• Proceed with your items. I will respond when you have finished.

1. Your servant has not committed a mortal sin since dedicating his life to you. He has kept on the straight path, serving you in word and deed, loving you through his actions, defending your cause.

2. He is committed to finding the wife you are preparing for him, uniting with her in true intention, and raising his children with her for your glory.

3. He has sacrificed his time, talent, energy, and meal times to your work.

4. He has at least twice risked his career and academic standing to win hearts for you.

5. He has read the works of the greats, studied the languages of the dead, and schooled his mind to grasp the concepts of the faith so he can pass them on to others, in fullness.

6. Finally, Lord, he has been a respectful, loving, and righteous man in his actions to your daughter and servant, myself. Through his deference to my sex, he has taught me wonderful aspects of your love, and the dignity of my own worth.

With these seven charges listed before you here, I state his grievance: that among the multitudes of his many blessings, which he accedes to come from you, namely: friendship, good grades, financial future, prospect of romantic love, family, health, a sound mind, and many more, he still finds himself lacking something.

This lack proceeds not from any reticence on his part to open himself to your will. Rather, holy father, his will is as open as he knows how to make it. He seeks for your answer, your help, oh Lord, in knowing what it is that he lacks, what it is that you refuse to give him. What is he still to receive? What are you promising him, which this great desire of his heart proclaims?

And why have you not payed him his due?

In your own words, Lord, you declare:

Jeremiah 22:13

“Woe to him... who makes his neighbor serve him for nothing and does not give him his wages.”

1 Timothy 5:18

“For the Scripture says... “The laborer deserves his wages.”

Thank you Father for you willingness to hear my plea, which I make only out of love for my friend, and to uphold and show forth your glory, oh God, who are the most fair and just king over all. Thank you, and glory be to you forever!

THE LORD’S RESPONSE:

You have brought me this plea of my son, and I thank you. I will address it point by point.

1. You say My son has devoted his entire life to my cause. I never asked this of him. You will say that he will not be satisfied by such an answer. But that is what it is.

2. You say first that My son has not committed a mortal sin since dedicating his life to my service. You say secondly that he has served me in word and deed, loving me through his actions and defending my cause. To the first point: this is well and good, and no more than I ask of any of my servants. To the last: so have I done for him. When he floundered on his way in life, who was it that steered him back? When he risked his future for my sake, who was it that pulled him out of danger and kept him in school and work? He is my beloved, and I am his defender.

3. You say he will marry and raise his children in the way they should go. I say he must study the Holy Family. And in particular, St. Joseph, who was a humble man. He believed he was owed nothing, but rather, in his humility, took steps to put Mary away from him. It was this willingness to renounce himself and his future that secured for St. Joseph the greatest marital bliss on earth.

4. You list the temporary, particular things of this life which he has sacrificed to my eternal plan. What of them? What do these have to do with me?

5. You say he has fought to win hearts for me. I say I have fought to win his.

6. You say he has studied the intellectual greats, languages, and the concepts of the faith. He will receive no more from these than that which they can provide. What more does he seek from them?

7. Finally, you say he has been a respectful, loving, and righteous man in his actions to you, my daughter and servant. I ask, what do you owe him?

Enough, then, for the points you have brought me. The main grievance, then, is the lack that gnaws at his heart.

I say, you have done well, my good and faithful servant. I am calling you to more. I have withheld nothing. I have given you all.

This all is my heart, my mind, my hands, to do my work in the world. This all is the all to which you, in your striving, have opened yourself. Yet this all is over-crowded.

My heart cannot fit into yours, though it has tried. My hands cannot manipulate yours, though they have tried. My mind cannot overshadow yours, though it has tried.

In this effort to accommodate me into yourself, you are breaking. You are so open, and withheld nothing back, so that I am like a tidal wave breaking, unobstructed, against a house. The house is breaking.

I am calling you to more.

Come to me. Build your house underwater. Let not my mind overshadow yours, but let yours enter into mine. There is plenty of room. Then your heart will rest in mine, and your hands will fit inside my own, like an infant wearing his father’s giant gloves.

This lack in your life and heart, oh son of mine, oh good and faithful servant, is my invitation to you to come deeper, to disappear, into me.

You ask why I have not paid you your dues. I declare it is because you cannot yet receive them.

Your desire is my promise.

Enter into my house, and I will pay you all.

MY RESPONSE TO THE LORD

Thank you Lord for your answers. I have only one question now.

HOW is _____ to enter into your house? What must he do?

• He must believe it’s possible.

January 22, 2022

Conversation between a Writer and the Lord

Lord, you cannot want me. I am nothing. I have been ill, and ill-equipped. I allow people to give me too many excuses. How can you want me? Who am I, Oh Lord? What are you calling me to do?

• Love me.

That’s all well and good, but what do I DO? How does this Love overflow to others?

• Creative Writing

Really?

• Of course. Tell the stories.

Who’s stories?

• No ones. The ones in your head.

Why?

• Do not ask why. Ask where.

Where, Lord?

• In books. On Creative Anthology. I will tell you more.

And what of coaching?

• What of it?

Why did you train me to be a life coach? Am I supposed to be working with women?

• Ask me not why. Nor whether you are to be working with women.

Why not? How can I know how to serve you?

• Serve me with your writing.

But my desire for women?! To help them?

• What of it?

Lord, it’s not about that. I could easily put it on hold if not for the money. What of the money?

• How much do you need?

$3,000 dollars a month.

• Very well.

That answer does not bring me peace.

• Why not?

Because I don’t see your how! And what if I am making up this conversation? What if you will not provide? Lord, I am scared.

• Scared is good. Do you trust me?

I am mad at you.

• Do you trust me?

My heart hurts!

• Do you trust me?

Dangit, yes I do! How can I not?

• Publish this.

This conversation? Why?

• Do not ask why. Ask where.

Where then?

• Creative Anthology

I have peace, my Lord. Thank you.

August 27, 2021

Dear Actor Who Plays Judas in The Chosen,

Thank you for your incredible acting, and the gift you bring to so many people watching you bring to life the best story ever told.

I do not know if you are Catholic, or if you believe in Saints, but I feel compelled to write and warn you about the spiritual warfare you will experience as you move forward with this role. Judas is the only one of the disciples who is not a saint. While other actors on set, and those in production, will experience their own kinds of temptation, attack, and difficulty, they are not method acting in the role of the disciple who betrayed God.

Method acting is a great gift for viewers, but comes with its own set of difficulties, for you are compelled to not only portray the character, but enter into their inmost thoughts and feelings, in order to bring them into a true life-like aspect on camera. This has been difficult for actors in the past, as I am sure you know.

When temptations arise, other actors can invoke their patrons and namesakes, - Peter, John, even Christ himself - but you cannot pray to yours. Instead, it comes to my mind that your two greatest intercessors in Heaven are St. Jude, the patron saint of the impossible, who shared a name with your character, and St. Matthias, who replaced Judas as one of the Twelve in Acts. When you experience mental or physical distress invoke their aid, that they may keep you from ever betraying your Lord, even in the smallest misstep, and they will be swift to your rescue.

Again, thank you for your willingness and dedication to this role. Your acting is incredible, and I appreciate how Judas was brought into the story. He is wide-eyed, eager to see what will happen next, and potentially too easily misled, with too little of a solid foundation in morality. I am eager to see Season 3, and how his character progresses.

God bless you,

Elizabeth

August 3, 2021

While staying at Heart Ridge retreat and cultural center in the Blue Ridge mountains, helping to clean up and prepare for retreat groups and camps, I’ve been talking with Jesus, and recently, we were discussing the subject of ‘home.’ Not only have I been learning how to trust in the Lord more, and find joy in the everyday moments, but he has been revealing to me the nature of home and husband.

Before I set out on this trip, there was an attractive young man in my circle of friends that I was starting to get distracted by. I wanted to know if this was THE man. You know what I’m talking about. When you meet a godly man, who exemplifies the virtues you’re looking for, all you can think is “Is he the one?” And before we know it, our feminine hearts have jumped 5 years in the future, when we already have 10 children, living on a farmstead in the middle of nowhere, with goats and a vineyard, and a large homeschool co-op community.

Poor man. Does he have any idea what goes on in our womanly hearts? All he’s done is volunteer to lead prayer.

So anyhow, recognizing this tendency in myself, I started to bring this man to prayer. I started asking Jesus, “What do you want me to do about this guy? Is there anything you want me to do about him? What about him?”

And Jesus started responding back to me with questions. “Do you see Me when you look at him? What is it about him that is attractive to you? Where am I in this picture?”

I wasn’t in the mood for questions. I wanted answers. So when I realized Jesus wasn’t about to give them, I turned to his mother. “Mother,” I said, “what about this guy? Jesus won’t answer me.”

She answered me with a visual prayer. In this prayer, I was a five-year-old child, petulantly asking to go play with another child. But Mother Mary scooped me up, and asked, “Where are you going, little girl?”

“I want to go play with that boy, he looks nice.”

“I want you to stay and play with Jesus” she told me.

“But what about that guy? Isn’t he nice?”

“He’s nice,” said Mary, “but we’re leaving in five minutes, and I need you where I can see you. Now go play with Jesus.”

In this beautiful visual, Mary showed me several truths about my journey, which I’ve kept close to my heart all this time.

1. Number one. She wants to keep me close to her.

2. Number two, I am still a small child in so many ways, and Jesus wants to teach me how to play.

3. Number three, it was not the time for a man in my life. There was a journey to make first.

I’ve learned on this journey that when it is time for a man to come into my life, I will not be desperate about his entrance. I will not be trying to figure out, “WHAT about him? What about HIM?”

As I keep my eyes on Christ, He will step aside when we are BOTH ready, and the time has come in God’s plan.

I’ll finish with a visual prayer my spiritual mother told me once, which has brought me so much insight. Right now, as a single woman, imagine Christ beside you as a shadow. Everywhere you go, he companies you, and one day, a man will enter into your life. On your wedding day, this will step into that shadow of Christ, and become Christ for you. His hands will be Christ’s hands, his feet Christ’s feet, his heart Christ’s heart, and he will seek to do the Lords will, for your good, and the good of your children. Christ does not abandon you, either now as a single woman, or in marriage. When a man is in love with Christ first, and you next, he is Christ in your married life, as much as you are the church to Christ.

And so I am abiding in the Lord’s timing, trusting that as I do his well in each moment, each day, I am walking the journey that is bringing me closer and closer to the man who will win my heart, and step into the shadow of the Lord.

December 8, 2020

Dear Mother Mary,

On this your day of days, with love in my heart, I come before you as your child, asking you to reveal to my heart your immaculate plan.

I have experienced great difficulty thus far in attending Mass, receiving Our Lord, praying the Rosary daily, and honoring your day.

Recognizing that our God is a God of mercy, I have relied on His graces to fill these negligences, and allow for grace in spite of my difficulties. But I do not want to presume.

Please Mother, wipe away any presumption on my part. Make me pure, holy, and dedicated to honoring your dignity.

Mother, I do not want to be angry on your day. I do not want to attend a church that I feel dishonors you in the celebration of its mysteries. Mother, it fills me with ire, bitterness, and angry tears.

Please release me from this anger. Mother, please fill me with your wisdom, continual mental prayer, heroic patience, profound humility, blind obedience, and mortification in all things. Amen.

June 24, 2020

Jesus, why does enforcing the requirement to wear a mask scare me so much?

We have become a faceless country. Jesus, I am angry! This is not a political issue, or a medical issue, or a race issue - it is a human issue.

We are human beings with faces, with courage, with souls. We are not dying by the thousands - we are being led, by thousands, like sheep to the slaughter with no concern for our hearts, spiritual nourishment, or need for community.

We are communal people, created for fellowship, love, joy, and celebration! Jesus you created us for celebration.

March 17, 2020

Dear Saint Patrick, we invoke your aid on our church, country, and world in this time of global crisis. As you drove out the snakes of paganism from Ireland, please drive out the illness and fear that is raging across the continents.

Fill us with the peace of Christ and the good news that you spread throughout Ireland about God’s mercy and love. May the rapid spread of this disease decrease to the extent that we will be able to have Mass on Easter Sunday. Help us to put our trust in God, and turn to him and him alone in our fear and anxiety. We ask all this through Jesus’s name, Amen.

Saint Patrick, pray for us