January 14, 2022

This fairytale is unfinished…

Once upon a time, there was a wealthy prince who was the son of a wealthy king and a wealthy queen. The king had been accumulating wealth for many years, aqcuiring it from his neighbors through raids and wars, and from his people through heavy taxation.

One day, Saint Nicholas came to their kingdom, and preached in the streets. The king and the queen were struck by the eloquence of the saint’s words, and their hearts were converted. From then on, they sought to raise their son and their people in the way of Christ and his Church.

When their son came of age to marry, they decided that only the holiest and sweetest of women would be his wife. So they began to search among their dukes and nobles to find a maid who loved God more than she loved anything else on earth.

To find this woman out, they formulated this question and story, “We have struck rock-bottom and are no longer wealthy. We are hated by all of our neighbors. But our son is good and kind, and he will help you in the way to heaven, and he will provide for you and for your children by the sweat of his brow until the day of your death. Will you marry him?”

One by one, the maidens of the land turned down the prince. And then, when the king and queen revealed that it had all been a lie, and there was still wealth to be had in the castle, and still favor to be found in court, many attempted to retract their statement and begged to marry him, but the king and queen knew now the shallowness of their hearts.

So this happened in each household, all among people who claimed to be kind, cultured, and good.

Soon the king and queen exhausted all the daughters of the nobles and dukes in their kingdom. But they decided not to be proud, and turned to the common people of the land. They did the same thing that they had done among the dukes, traveling from house to house, repeating the same question over and over again. And still, each maiden turned them down. Not only that, but they openly scorned the royal family, something the Dukes and their families had not even dared to do. But the king and his queen persisted in their search, believing that any indignity was worth finding a good wife for their son. But in the end, they had searched through their entire kingdom, and no maiden was to be found.

When they conveyed this to the prince, he was deeply saddened, as he desired more than anything to begin his own family, and yearned for a wife of virtue, beauty, and good humor with whom to begin that life.

Now the prince was very choosy with his friends, but he had three, and they were good men, like himself. They were named Frederick, Dietrich, and Franz. When they saw the crestfallen face of their comrade, they clamored over him until he yielded, and confessed the reason for his sorrow.

Frederick immediately stood straight up in indignation, and cried out that the prince had better not give another single thought to those damsels. They were too good for him, and they had proven it.

But the prince said he did not think of them. He thought of the maiden of his dreams, the one he wished to marry. Surely, she was somewhere in the wide world? Surely, there was a good maiden born of God, and living out His Word, who would not scorn to marry him? “I am not much,” he said, “but I am a good man, God-fearing, and in love with my neighbor. I am just, and kind, and a man of my word. Anything I am not, I beg of her forgiveness, and will strive to make myself better. If only I could meet her and tell her! If only I could find a heart to woo.”

Then he left his friends and retired, heavy-hearted, to his chamber.

Franz watched him go, then gestured to the other friends, and they gathered round, their heads pressed together like conspirators.

“Comrades,” he said with a quiet fierceness, “our friend is sad, and has exhausted all the women in this realm. Let us pack bags upon our backs, and set off to the world round-about, and not return until we have found a maiden worthy of our prince.”

His friends agreed with gusto and without hesitation, so much did they love their friend. “Let us go!” they cried with one voice, and by morning, the palace was a quieter and more sedate place.

When the royal family came to breakfast, the king asked the Lord Chamberlain why the palace was so quiet.

“My Lord,” said the Lord Chamberlain, “It has been conferred to me the honor to tell you that the prince’s brethren, Frederick, Dietrich, and Franz, have departed the palace.”

The prince let out an involuntary cry of dismay, but the Lord continued.

“They have set out three ways into the world, and will not return until they each find a maiden worthy to be wooed by the prince.”

He departed, and the family fell silent. Then the prince said, “Well, let us eat. We must only wait patiently. No man can ever earn such friends.”

---

Three months later, there was a great clatter in the courtyard of the palace. Such a clatter had not been heard in a long-time past, and when it came to the prince’s ears, he leapt up and vaulted to his window. Sure enough, there below were his friends, riding into the palace, each with a maiden behind him.

August 17, 2021

If not now… when?

One day, I will eat that cookie!

You gaze at it, sitting on the counter in front of you. Chewy, moist, hot… full of chocolate chunks dripping sweetness… If only you could simply reach out your hand to take it…

But it’s only a dream…

You are not eating that cookie because you’ve shut yourself away from this dream. Decided it’s not for you. Locked your heart against your desires because practicality says it’s bad for you.

And yet, you still want it; and promise yourself that, some day, you’ll be able to eat it again.

I ask you, when will be the right day? When will you be thin enough, confident enough, assertive enough to say, “Yes. Today is the day! I will eat that cookie, feel good while doing it, and not gain weight!”

Do you have a plan to get to that day? A plan to lose weight, reduce sugar cravings, and rewire your mindset?

Ok, do you know we’re not talking about a cookie?

I had you going there though, didn’t I?

I’m going to let you in: that cookie represents your creative desires. Uh huh. You’ve told yourself for years that someday you will start your creative career.

‘Someday’ never comes. It’s like ‘somebody.’ My dad’s catch phrase to us kids whenever we asked, “Can somebody help me with this?” was always, “‘Somebody’ isn’t here.”

His point was: “You’re never going to get the help you need unless you address someone specific.”

So I’m going to tell you now: ‘Someday’ is never coming. You need a specific plan if you want to live the life you crave.

Do you have that plan? Do you have that resolution? Do you know how to lose the ‘weight’ that is keeping you from living your dream life? If other people can do it, so can you. You just need to start taking the first steps.

August 3, 2021

While staying at Heart Ridge retreat and cultural center in the Blue Ridge mountains, helping to clean up and prepare for retreat groups and camps, I’ve been talking with Jesus, and recently, we were discussing the subject of ‘home.’ Not only have I been learning how to trust in the Lord more, and find joy in the everyday moments, but he has been revealing to me the nature of home and husband.

Before I set out on this trip, there was an attractive young man in my circle of friends that I was starting to get distracted by. I wanted to know if this was THE man. You know what I’m talking about. When you meet a godly man, who exemplifies the virtues you’re looking for, all you can think is “Is he the one?” And before we know it, our feminine hearts have jumped 5 years in the future, when we already have 10 children, living on a farmstead in the middle of nowhere, with goats and a vineyard, and a large homeschool co-op community.

Poor man. Does he have any idea what goes on in our womanly hearts? All he’s done is volunteer to lead prayer.

So anyhow, recognizing this tendency in myself, I started to bring this man to prayer. I started asking Jesus, “What do you want me to do about this guy? Is there anything you want me to do about him? What about him?”

And Jesus started responding back to me with questions. “Do you see Me when you look at him? What is it about him that is attractive to you? Where am I in this picture?”

I wasn’t in the mood for questions. I wanted answers. So when I realized Jesus wasn’t about to give them, I turned to his mother. “Mother,” I said, “what about this guy? Jesus won’t answer me.”

She answered me with a visual prayer. In this prayer, I was a five-year-old child, petulantly asking to go play with another child. But Mother Mary scooped me up, and asked, “Where are you going, little girl?”

“I want to go play with that boy, he looks nice.”

“I want you to stay and play with Jesus” she told me.

“But what about that guy? Isn’t he nice?”

“He’s nice,” said Mary, “but we’re leaving in five minutes, and I need you where I can see you. Now go play with Jesus.”

In this beautiful visual, Mary showed me several truths about my journey, which I’ve kept close to my heart all this time.

1. Number one. She wants to keep me close to her.

2. Number two, I am still a small child in so many ways, and Jesus wants to teach me how to play.

3. Number three, it was not the time for a man in my life. There was a journey to make first.

I’ve learned on this journey that when it is time for a man to come into my life, I will not be desperate about his entrance. I will not be trying to figure out, “WHAT about him? What about HIM?”

As I keep my eyes on Christ, He will step aside when we are BOTH ready, and the time has come in God’s plan.

I’ll finish with a visual prayer my spiritual mother told me once, which has brought me so much insight. Right now, as a single woman, imagine Christ beside you as a shadow. Everywhere you go, he companies you, and one day, a man will enter into your life. On your wedding day, this will step into that shadow of Christ, and become Christ for you. His hands will be Christ’s hands, his feet Christ’s feet, his heart Christ’s heart, and he will seek to do the Lords will, for your good, and the good of your children. Christ does not abandon you, either now as a single woman, or in marriage. When a man is in love with Christ first, and you next, he is Christ in your married life, as much as you are the church to Christ.

And so I am abiding in the Lord’s timing, trusting that as I do his well in each moment, each day, I am walking the journey that is bringing me closer and closer to the man who will win my heart, and step into the shadow of the Lord.

July 27, 2021

Me: Ok Lord, what do you want me to write about?

The Lord: Me

He loves it when I write to Him, write about Him, and just when I write. Lately, I’ve been filling my life with other tasks, and He keeps redirecting me... Write, Elizabeth. Write of me, of life, of love...

Me: As you wish.

Is Love a Choice?

“I never really believed in magical love,” my friend said, “until I fell into it.”

Have you ever fallen in love? In conversation recently, my friends and I came to the realization that to fall in love is not a choice. In fact, if it were a choice, it would cease to be love.

I intend to defend this position, since as a Catholic, we are often told: “love is a choice.” I do actually believe that. So if falling in love is not a choice, but love is, what does that mean?

Now, I want to make a distinction before I go any further. There is a difference - impossible to describe though I will try - between falling in love and infatuation.

If you have been in love, then you know what I mean without my trying to describe it to you. And if, so far, you’ve only experienced infatuation, then no description can truly communicate the concept of love.

Some Clarifications:

Neither love nor infatuation is a good or a bad thing, in and of itself. Both partake of goodness, and both are a necessary and beautiful aspect of the human experience. Both can also be perverted. But love is higher - in the order of being and goodness - than infatuation.

• Infatuation engages the senses and emotions, driving out every other reality.

• Love engages the entire person: mind, body, and soul, and leaves command of the emotions.

• Infatuation makes the person selfish, even if she doesn’t mean to be, for she is so full of the other person and the good feelings she’s experiencing, that she has a hard time seeing other people.

• Love brings the person out of herself and able to see people, beauty, and good things in abundance, for she sees suddenly the futility of little things, and begins to engage with reality on a deeper level.

• An infatuated person sees their beloved in everything. Anything, even the littlest thing, reminds them of their beloved.

• A person in love looks for aspects of their beloved in things of quality. They seek to go deeper into beauty, goodness, and truth. Knowing that their beloved is a thing of precious quality, they seek for themes of precious quality in all around them.

• Infatuation either leads to love, or dies away into oblivion.

• Love endures, even if it changes. It either changes it’s tone into a lasting affection, fades away into a pleasant memory, or else it lasts until ‘death do us part.’

• Infatuation does not change the person, other than to bring sometimes transitory happiness and stress.

• Love, on the other hand (while not automatically making him a better person), calls the lover to a higher virtuous standard. He suddenly recognizes and adores virtue, and has the powerful motivation to be a better person for the sake of his beloved. Love transforms.

The Choice

So why is it that although love is a choice, falling in love is not?

To be ‘in love’ is not a choice, but choice is still involved. When I and my friends have fallen in love, we noticed the common theme of Resistance. Every one of us resisted the idea of accepting that we were ‘in love.’ To fall in love is unnerving for the very fact that we do not choose to fall into it. Would you choose to fall into a pit? No. To fall is an unsettling feeling. It makes your stomach drop, your heart pound, your life change direction (literally - we go from traveling horizontally to vertically). For this reason, the expression ‘falling in love’ is very appropriate, for it is an unwilling fall.

To be in love is the choice. It is to accept Joseph Campbell’s Call to Adventure, and to embrace that life is about to take an unexpected and potentially disastrous turn. To be in love is to accept that there is a higher reality in life than oneself. It is to recognize beauty and goodness, and to seek after deeper understandings of these realities. To be in love is to ascend in mind and soul.

In God’s inneffible wisdom, He has allowed us to experience this call through the presence and companionship of another person in romantic love. He could have left us with Him alone, for He is, after all, Love itself. But in the Garden, he decreed that it was not good for man to be alone, and so he created a helper fit for him, and in Adam’s moment of awakening to see Eve, he was struck into declaring his love and his joy. It was Adam and Eve’s call to grow deeper into God through knowing and discovering the other.

“Do not arouse, nor awaken love, until it so desires.” This awakening is outside of our control. It seems as though the love itself is a living entity, coming to life and fluttering outside the doors of our hearts, begging for us to let him in.

Will we choose to let him in?

My friend, when he spoke of falling in love, of now believing in magical love, was speaking of this total self-effacing love. It makes one want to live forever with the person, if they can, or else die to prove their love. It is the celebrated love of Romeo and Juliet, of Victoria and Albert, of Christ and the Church. It happens in a moment - in one instant of existence - and it changes the trajectory of one’s entire life. One instant, we are our regular self, trying to figure out who we are and what we’re meant for in this life, and the next: everything else is eclipsed. Nothing small can enter our world any longer. Not, that is, unless we choose to deny our call and shut the door on beauty, truth, and goodness. For this arousal, this awakening of love, is in truth a call to the highest realities of life: to enter into the Love of God himself, who is alpha and omega, the beginning and the end.

This love may lead to marriage, or it may be a stepping stone on the journey. But I encourage you that when you fall into love and you open your door to let it in, you have done no harm. You have chosen beauty, truth, and goodness, and if you invite the Lord in, you will ascend to know Him in his Higher Places. You will ascend to see the Lord in his house of Glory, where He waits for you.

Do not despair of ‘magical’ love. Do not seek to arouse it. And most of all, when it comes, do not deny it entrance.

July 18, 2021

Heart Ridge is not my home. But it IS my current sphere of activity.

Right now, I am like Ruth, working in the fields, gathering the sheaves that are dropped by the workers. But one day, I will marry Boaz and be mistress of all.

I am called to learn here, and grow. I am called to discover what it means to “gather sheaves,” not in an impoverished way, but in a way of learning how the Lord provides, the kindness of others, and the growth of my own heart.

I will be stretched here.

I already have been.

The beauty of this place captivates me, and it’s potential excites me… Meanwhile, what am I called to do?

February 2, 2021

Hope in a World Torn Apart

“As far as building creative careers, those are over. The market is crashing all around, and careers and options are in the can.”

This is what one lady told me when I told her what I do. She went on to say that “You can’t coach someone to succeed in a game when the rules are changing constantly.” And then she laid out a game plan for how I could shift my entire career path toward teaching kids just coming out of Highschool on how to get successful, traditional, safe jobs.

It’s tempting to agree with her. A creative career is a gamble, and maybe it’s not worth it. She concluded with these words, “You need to be more self-disciplined and less hopeful if you want stuff to work.”

I am a creative career coach, and I coach women through the process of building a lucrative creative career. This job goes hand-in-hand with the entrepreneurial position I have undertaken - alongside my brother - of building a company dedicated to supporting Catholic artists.

My heart hurt after she said these things, but only for a moment. I turned to prayer, and immediately found solace in my heavenly Father, as He assured me, “I have not led you this far down this path for nothing. Believe in me.”

I do not believe creative careers are over. If we have been created with the drive to imitate our creator, and create in his image, as He did for us, then why would He snatch that opportunity away? Despite what many seem to believe, ours is not a vindictive God. He plants desires in our hearts because He plans to bring them to fruition. The Lord has called those of us who are artists to be creative. To ignore that call would be to stifle and kill something Godlike, and Godgiven, within us.

The Despair

Fundamentally, I am a voice against all those who would say we can no longer create; who would hold up any excuse to get out of rebuilding our world. And believe me, we can find many excuses: the world’s economy, depravity, or enjoyment in the ugly and deformed; the belief in man’s inability to rise above his circumstances: “we must play the hand we’re dealt, and hope for heaven;” or even the belief that SOME people are creative enough to make it, but not me: I just dabble: I could never be a second Michelangelo.

With attitudes like that, who needs the devil to destroy art? He’s off somewhere else, toppling the statues and art of the old world; burning Notre Dame and looting churches, while we bury ourselves in a world that sees no hope for rebuilding culture.

The Hope

But is hope merely dead weight?

In JPII’s letter to artists, he lays out the philosophy that we are not only created to ‘dominate the earth’, but that artists have a unique connection to God that allows them to communicate him to the world.

“Through his “artistic creativity” man appears more than ever “in the image of God”, and he accomplishes this task above all in shaping the wondrous “material” of his own humanity and then exercising creative dominion over the universe which surrounds him.... as Cardinal Nicholas of Cusa made clear: “Creative art, which it is the soul's good fortune to entertain, is not to be identified with that essential art which is God himself, but is only a communication of it and a share in it”. That is why artists, the more conscious they are of their “gift”, are led all the more to see themselves and the whole of creation with eyes able to contemplate and give thanks, and to raise to God a hymn of praise. This is the only way for them to come to a full understanding of themselves, their vocation and their mission.”

“You need to be more self-disciplined and less hopeful if you want stuff to work.” The same lady quoted above said this to me as well.

God bless her, she fears for mine, and every artists’, future. She has seen me start projects, and then drop them, as I built myself up in discipline, health, and direction, and now she fears, not only that I will not follow through with my call from the Lord, but that the Lord is not calling me at all. Not to this task. This task, she says, ‘is over’.

If the task of rebuilding culture, of teaching others how to create and share that work with others, of teaching them how to do this full-time, so that we can move away both from the ‘starving artists’ mentality, and the mentality of ‘dabbling’ in an etsy shop... if this task is dead, then I must believe that God has given up on us all.

Truly, right before World War II, in Warsaw Poland, a little priest began a monthly paper entitled Knight of the Immaculate. He circulated it on a shoe-string budget, and brought many hearts and minds into the faith, and into a sincere devotion to Mary.

And in another part of Poland, at the same time, a seminarian was doing impromptu theatre with his friends in outdoor corners of the country.

Who are we to say that God only called Maximilian and Karol Wojtyla? Who are we to tell Him that He can’t call us, too? We can stand at the brink of the end and say, “What use is it to call me to build culture? Don’t you see it crumbling? Come on God, stop being so dang hopeful all the time. People are going around wearing masks and shutting down churches, for crying out loud! They’re looting churches and killing priests. God, why don’t you bother more with the big stuff? Stop calling me to the impossible.”

In the beautiful words of JPII, “The artist has a special relationship to beauty. In a very true sense it can be said that beauty is the vocation bestowed on him by the Creator in the gift of “artistic talent”. And, certainly, this too is a talent which ought to be made to bear fruit, in keeping with the sense of the Gospel parable of the talents.”

Is it impossible to constantly see beauty? Is it impossible to rejoice in the talent we have received? If beauty invigorates you, if creating excites you, where are you hiding? Come out, come out to the light, and share your beauty with the world.

Hope is not dead. Hope is the resurrection and the life, which has already conquered death, and led us all into the light of freedom. We are free to create, free to worship, and free to immerse ourselves in the glory of God.

What if I’m Not An Artist?

In the words, again, of JPII, “Not all are called to be artists in the specific sense of the term. Yet, as Genesis has it, all men and women are entrusted with the task of crafting their own life: in a certain sense, they are to make of it a work of art, a masterpiece.”

We are not called to be like those of this world. If the world is cowering in darkness, we are called to smile in the light. If the world is afraid of dying, we are called to die as martyrs. And if the world is destroying art, we are called to create, promote, and support it.

The Flight House, the business my brother and I are launching, is more than a place for artists: it is an opportunity for artists, sponsors, art enthusiasts, business entrepreneurs, and everyday Catholics to connect and support each other. It’s a place to immerse ourselves in beautiful entertainment that does not serve an agenda, but rejoices in the creation and journey of life that we, as Catholics - created in the Image and Likeness of God - have undertaken.

When the World is Against Us

In this past year, God has shown me, time and again, how He operates OUTSIDE the world’s laws. When I began working for Freedom After the Trauma Conference in August of 2020, it was nothing more than an idea in my friend’s head of changing the world’s narrative on trauma, and spreading the belief that ANYONE can heal and live a full life, no matter their trauma. Now, it is an organization, which held an online conference in October, now has a board of directors, and is quickly shaping up to be the most controversial and transformative organization on the planet. All this, because my friend believed what was spoken by God into her heart: that she did not experience trauma for nothing; that she is His beloved, and is called to heal the world.

I saw this with Woman School, which two years ago, was also only an idea centered around human formation, but is now a fast-growing organization of women who are transforming the lives of millions of women across the planet, helping them design beautiful marriages, families, careers, and freindships.

These organizations were successful for one reason, and one reason alone: they believed. And with this belief came the organization, built up with collaboration, skill building, routine, and dreaming.

We only stop creating when we believe it’s impossible. But nothing is impossible with God. If we believe it’s impossible, then we have lost the gift of the Resurrection. My friend was right: we need discipline. Now, more than ever, we must practice the consistent discipline that meets with results. But it is the consistency of belief, practice, creation, and promotion, not the consistency of trying to play the world’s games, and getting dragged into despair. We’re not playing the world’s games: we are embracing that God and His methods are greater. God uses the world’s means, but is not confined to them. If the world changes the game on us, so be it: we’ll be adaptable, indefatigable, and joyful! Because creating in the image of God is a joyful activity!

So, to conclude, I will not be redirecting my career path. To do so is to ignore the call He has placed on my heart, and to doubt the skills He has given me. He has made me a writer, an entrepreneur, a career coach, and only HIS voice will I allow to speak over me! Will you join me? Will you help Christ rebuild a beautiful, life-giving culture?

October 29, 2020

In prayer, I heard the Lord promise to send me “A Man After My Own Heart.” [Meaning HIS heart]

Blessed is she who believed that what was spoken to her by the Lord would be fulfilled...

Psalm Searching:

So, I have delved into the Psalms, to see what they have to say about the nature of “A Man After My Own Heart.”

• He rests in the Lord

• He recognizes the hand of the Lord in all things

• His defense is in the Lord

• He believes the Lord’s promises, even against evidence to the contrary

• He respects what is sacred to and consecrated to the Lord

• He hates evil

• He is beloved by the Lord

• He is justified in the Lord

• He cultivates the depths of his heart

• He proclaims the glory of God

• He turns to the Lord in times of distress

• He converses with the Lord

• He holds the Lord accountable to His promises

• He knows, understands, and accepts God’s love for him

• He attributes all victories to the Lord

• He dances with abandon before the Lord

• He rests in the Lord like a child in it’s mother’s arms

• He keeps violence for the Lord to deliver

• He is patient

• He loves the Lord

• He is guided by the Lord

• He accepts the Lord’s chastisement

• He is redeemed in the Lord

• He sings to the Lord

• He is preserved by the Lord

• God is his rock and refuge

• He accepts that he is transitory, and God is eternal

• He praises the Lord in times of tribulation

• He is wise, and heeds the love of the Lord

• To be near God is his Happiness

• He accepts that all that is good in himself was created for God’s sake

• He grapples with large questions

• His trust is in the Lord

• He worships nothing false

• He knows the Lord hears and answers his prayers

• He obeys God

• All his hope is in the Lord

• He walks with ever-growing strength

• He cries aloud in anguish of heart

• He is saved

• He prays in the morning

• He is pure of heart

• He learns to sit still

• He is dust

• He is not repayed according to his sins

• He faces death all day long for the Lord

• He imagines

• He never neglects the Lord’s commands

• He is upright

• He is the Lord’s servant

• He does everything the Lord wants him to do

June 30, 2020

The bird kept chirping outside my window, as if in response to my hiccuping sobs. I wanted to pick up paper to write about it, this contrast between something beautiful and lively, and someone so lonely, but the thought of taking action was painful. I knew that to hold the pen would hurt my wearied, trembling fingers; to find a place to write would be inconvenient, and the whole process of looking for a pad of paper was too overwhelming to consider. Instead I was kept bowed, broken, in my chair.

After a while, my sobs cease, but the chirping of the bird increased. He had never been chirping for me in the first place. Nature was indifferent to me, as removed from me as if it could not care that I existed. But although I was removed from it, I cared very much. I wanted to be appreciative – engaging in it – but I was stuck inside, cold, lying in bed… I’m too tired to eat the food I just finished heating up.

But I knew that the longer I waited to eat, the worse I would feel.

There is a series of chapters in the Brothers Karamazov that begin with ‘lacerations at’. They talk about all the places where Alyosha receives pain to his heart - lacerations - that cut him open and tear at his sensitive soul. I would title this episode of my life: ‘lacerations at my brother’s.’

There is a desolation in the realization that a place that you considered a sanctuary is in fact a desert. That a place you thought you could escape to was really a desolate place. I want my weak body to be OK with the fact that there is no table at which to eat, no hot water to bathe in, no couch to sit on, no regular bed to lounge on. I want my body to accept that cast-iron pans are not from the devil, and that large 2 gallon jars of milk are not a cruel invention created by sadistic people.

But you see, it hurts me to hold my whole bowl of soup in my hands and I need a table to put it on. It hurts me to sit in wicker chairs and I need a couch to curl up on. My whole body is in pain all the time, and the only thing that takes it away is a bath of hot water. But the only way I can get it is to boil gallons of water on the stove and carry them across the expanse of the apartment - all the while making myself weaker and shakier, and more and more increasing my pain. The 2 gallon jar of milk is so heavy that I spill as much as I pour into my glass. And the cast iron pans are so heavy and bulky that they are impossible for me to lift and clean.

I wanted to come keep my brother company, but I did not account for all these things that bring me pain. I did not account for the fact that I would be miserable. And the bottom line is, that he does not much care about having me here. He cares more for the friend who just returned from college, with whom he spent his birthday evening, and went to lunch without me. If he really wanted me here, now or at another time, he would do his upmost to make the environment comfortable – ready for me, and for my mother. But that is not his concern. He is living his life, three hours from my home. He left, and perhaps he does not want to be with us unless he chooses to come back, which he does from time to time. Although it is impossible for me to spend quality time with him at those times, for we are surrounded by many people and conversation is not possible amongst the small children. I am alone anyway, and I need to stop being desperate to retain those people who I thought would be there for me - no matter what.

March 13, 2020

Coronavirus update from The Catholic Corner Store

We’ve all seen them. The emails pouring into our inboxes from local and even global organizations assuring us that their top priority is everyone’s safety. It’s a great priority to have. But as Catholics, our top priority is not safety, but HEAVEN.

It’s serving God every moment that we are here, not being afraid of death, and supporting each other in moments of crisis. Pope JPII said, “Be not afraid!”

At the Catholic Corner, we are being careful. But we are also being prayerful. If you want comfort in this time, please stop by to talk with us. We are here to be a light in the darkness. We are here to remember that the world has been through many crises, and will be through many more, and that God always helps us through them. Let us embrace his healing power! And pray for peace, health, and above all, in this troubled, fearful time, increased trust in the Lord!

February 11, 2020

Trust for Today

For the Lord has given us today,

And tomorrow he will give us that too

Each day brings gifts anew,

Each moment is a new day.

Today he has given me grace Abundant!

And tomorrow he will measure His graces again, according to my needs.

Praise His Name!

Praise His Name!

Praise His Name!