July 12, 2021

St. Joseph, I am your biggest fan!

I am listening to a talk, I forget by what speaker, about St. Theresa of Avila, and he is proclaiming your manliness, your willingness to adventure, your sturdiness! And I am literally cheering aloud. No one can acclaim you loud enough to please me. He referenced a painting about you leading the Holy Family into Egypt, and I cannot but wonder whether it is my painting - the one I love. For you are manly in this story. A leader, a sturdy protector - an adventurer going out into the unknown. How I love you!

Oh silent protector. Walk beside me everywhere I go. I will cling to your hand, a willing little child, following wherever you lead.

Father, my heart is so full of love and joy. I do not want to cease speaking to you. I do not want to go to sleep. You have sat down beside my bed, allowing me to prattle on a little longer about my love for you, rather than admonishing me to close my eyes. Where are we going next? Oh, papa, do more work in my soul. It is so gentle, so kind, so loving. How nurturing a presence you are!

I cannot imagine you in any perplexity or difficulty! How did you not know you must take Mary into your home? You know everything, oh good father, you must have known that.

You are so far above me that I am like a little child looking upon her wise father, thinking that he could not - oh no, never he - have ever been a child like me!

The speaker continues on, speaking of Theresa, but I am only half-listening. My mind has switched track to you. Please guide me as you guided her. She began this devotion to you. Allow me to carry on this tradition, please. Oh please, allow me to spread devotion to you. May our relationship extend to others. May I teach others how to speak to you, how to listen to you. This is not a mere year of St. Joseph, is it? Please, allow it to be a lifetime! How easy to come to Jesus and Mary, when we come to them through you! You wish everything for their best. You guard them unlike any other protector. You guide them into the very best ports. You turn even a stable into a palace.

Show me, please, how to love them as you loved them. Thank you for including me into their inner circle, for I know that you have veto power to send me away. But no. You choose to let me be a fourth wheel in your perfect family structure. I, who am so much more a sinner than yourself, you have allowed me to be with Mary and Jesus, those sinless two, who put even you to shame. Oh papa, thank you! In their presence, I receive such love to give to others. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Your home is here, in Carl [my van]. I have come to be your servant. If I must give my life and blood for you, I will give it willingly. Lead me to the persons and places you wish me to bring you. Thank you. Amen.

Please, stay with me until I fall asleep. I must clean my car, take and apply my medicine, and do my story. But I do not want you to go. Stay, until I fall asleep. You sit in a corner of my nursery, in a rocking chair made by your hands, and quietly read your book. I understand from this action that I am free to do whatever I wish, but you will be watching over me. Thank you for your paternal protection. Amen.